A Bensler FanFic
by MariskaIsBae
Summary: Olivia is back at work after a month off of recovering from her captivity by William Lewis. Elliot returns to check on her. They make up for lost time and soon rediscover the chemistry they once shared.
1. Elliot's Return

In New York City, the Special Victim's Unit hadn't been the same, for Olivia Benson had been on leave for a month. After being held captive and tortured by the evil William Lewis, she had taken time off of work to focus on healing, both phsyically and emotionally, the latter being the most damaged part of her. Olivia had started therapy with Dr. Peter Lindstrom, to tell of her story instead of keeping it bottled inside, and to learn how to cope with the PTSD the three days with William had caused her.

It was Olivia's first day back at work, and she walked into the squad room, her fellow detectives and coworkers greeting her with warm smiles and hugs.

"It's great to have you back, Liv," Nick Amaro, Olivia's partner, told her with a smile.

"It's good to be back," she replied and sat down at her desk across from him. Captain Cragen walked in and welcomed Olivia back.

"How are you feeling?" Amanda Rollins asked.

"Much better, thank you," answered Olivia and she started working on files. She was on desk duty until she felt 100% ready to get back into her normal routine which consisted of catching perps and talking with victims, etc. She just wasn't ready to see the greusome crime scenes or talk to rape victims yet. After all, she had almost become one herself...

Although they had broken up before the whole William Lewis incedent, Olivia had been staying with Brian Cassidy for the past month, but now she was living alone in her apartment again, and she was a bit timid, to be honest. That night Olivia had a nightmare that William had been burning her with cigarettes just like he had when she was his prisoner. She woke up in a sweat, feeling as though her skin was searing in pain as if she really had been burned. Every night since she was free of the beast she had dreamed of him, though not all of them were as horrible as tonight's.

The next day at the precinct, Olivia was working on some paperwork when the squad room suddenly became quiet. Olivia looked up to see what had caused the abrupt silence. Thinking she was just seeing things, Olivia blinked again, but when she opened her eyes she realized she had not been mistaken. Standing in the room was Elliot Stabler, Olivia's old partner, her best friend, her secret love.

"Liv? Are you alright?" Nick asked in a concerned voice and then turned his head and noticed Elliot as well.

"Olivia," was all Elliot said.

"Elliot," Olivia whispered and she stood up. "What are you doing here?" she asked, feeling several things at once. She was angry, she was confused, but there was an emptiness that had been filled in just the few seconds of seeing him.

"I heard what happened and I wanted to come see you, to check on you," he replied reaching out to touch her arm.

"Don't touch me," Olivia snapped taking a step back. Cragen stepped out of his office and into the room.

"What is going on in... Elliot?" he said, surprise evident in his voice.

"Captain, hi."

"What are you doing here?" Don asked.

"My question exactly," Olivia said and stormed out of the room.

"You need to leave," Nick said getting up from his seat.

"You must be Liv's partner," Elliot said rudely.

"You bet I am and I'm not going to leave her without an explanation."

"Hey, don't you dare..."

"Enough!" Cragen shouted. "Elliot, in my office," he commanded, as though Elliot was still working for him, for that was a phrase he had used common back in the day. Cragen shut the door and turned towards him. "Explain."

"Look, I heard what happened to Olivia and I wanted to see her, to make sure she was okay. I'm sorry it was so unexpected."

"You should've called. You hurt her, bad," Cragen said.

"I'm sorry. I need to talk to her," Elliot said and walked out of Cragen's office, leaving the Captain thinking of his already fragile detective and worring Elliot might cause more damage.

Elliot found Olivia in the break room sitting at the table with her head in her hands. He knocked on the open door to get her attention. Olivia looked up and quickly wiped her eyes. "Can I talk to you?" Elliot asked, slowly walking in.

Olivia narrowed her eyes at him. "You choose now to talk to me? Why not before you left? You left me without an explanation, not even a simple goodbye! What the hell, Elliot? Do you know how much pain you put me through?" Olivia asked, her voice increasing in volume with every question. Elliot looked away.

"I'm sorry, Liv. I'm not sure why I didn't say goodbye. I had so many mixed emotions. I was devestated after shooting Jenna. I couldn't do the job anymore and so I just left. You deserved an explanation and a goodbye. Please forgive me," Elliot pleaded, on the verge of crying himself.

"Do you know how overwhelming this is? I haven't seen you in three years and now you're back apologizing. How come there had to be a catastrophic event before you came back? Why not come back sooner?"

"How many times can I say that I'm sorry?!" Elliot shouted at her.

"They're just words, Elliot! It doesn't make what you did okay and it doesn't take the hurt away! Please just leave."

"Fine." Elliot started for the door but turned around. "Will I be able to talk to you or see you again?" he asked in a softer voice. Olivia was looking at the ground, her arms folded.

"I don't know," she muttered and with that Elliot left Olivia to be.

Lying in bed that night Olivia thought of Elliot. Well, really he had been on her mind ever since he had left the precinct that day, but now she had nothing to distract her thoughts. She had to admit that seeing him filled a void inside of her, and part of her wished she had treated him better. Olivia worried she had let the rekindling of a lost friendship slip away. Olivia shook her head. No, they hadn't been friends for the past three years and she was certain she could continue on with it being that way. But she had missed him something awful and she wanted to see him again.


	2. Dinner with Elliot

**REMINDER! This is a story. Kathy and Elliot never divorced in the SHOW. However, this is my story, and I say after season 12 they did.**

The following day, Elliot was at work immersed in grading papers. He was a teacher at a high school in New Jersey. For the past three years he had been teaching Intro to Criminal Justice and he really enjoyed it, although it was relieving when school ended and there were no more loud, rowdy teeangers around. For the past twenty-four hours Olivia had been the center of his thoughts. After he had read what happened to her in the newspaper, his heart broke for her, he was angry, no, infuriated, with the son-of-a-bitch who had treated her like an animal, worse than an animal, actually. He felt it his responsibility to check on her, to make sure she was okay. He had been nervous to see her again, worried about how she would react. That worry turned into reality because Olivia's reaction hadn't been good. Elliot knew what he had done was wrong, but couldn't Olivia seem at least a little happy to see him?

It was time for Elliot to leave school and as he climbed into his car to head to the gym, his cellphone rang. He checked the caller ID and was surprised at who was calling. It was Olivia. Elliot stared at the phone in shock before getting a grip and answering five rings later.

After work on Wednesday, Olivia sat in her car before leaving and looked through her cellphone contacts and found Elliot's number. Since the day he left she had kept his number in her phone, and now was the first time for her to call it. Olivia clicked the call button and took a deep breath.

"Olivia, hi," answered Elliot, and Olivia could hear the surprise in his voice. She cleared her throat before speaking.

"Elliot, um I'm sorry for not giving you a very warm welcome yesterday, and for yelling at you. I was just shocked to see you and I was angry. I mean, I'm not going to lie, I've been mad at you ever since you left. But that doesn't mean I haven't missed you, because..." Olivia was choked up on tears but managed to get out the last couple of words. "Because I have," she whispered clutching her cellphone tight as if it were Elliot and she were putting just how badly she had missed him into a hug.

"I missed you, too," he relpied.

"Um, do you want to catch up over dinner sometime?" Olivia asked feeling a bit nervous. She was sure Elliot was going to say no. She didn't blame him, she had treated him like crap the day before. But it was her turn to be surprised.

"That'd be great, Olivia. Is tonight good?" Olivia smiled and nodded her had as though Elliot could see this.

"Yeah, tonight's perfect. What about Aturo's, the Italian restaurant?" she suggested. Italian was her absolute favorite.

"Aturo's it is then. See you at 7?"

"I'll be there. Bye, Elliot," Olivia said smiling into the phone.

"Bye, Liv." Hearing Elliot call her by her nickname brought back memories of times they had shared together. The memories were bitter-sweet, but Olivia felt hopeful that the bitterness would slowly diminish during her and Elliot's dinner that evening.

Dressed in skinny jeans, boots, and a v-cut red long sleeve shirt with silver jewelry, Olivia arrived at Aturo's Osteria and Pizzeria at 7 pm sharp. Elliot was waiting for her outside and she gave him a warm smile when he saw her.

"Hey, Liv. You look great," Elliot told her. " _Great_ " barely did justice for the brunette. Elliot thought Olivia looked stunning.

"Thank you. Let's go eat." They asked for a quiet booth because the restaurant was known for its boisterous and crowded atmosphere. The waitress gave them the best she could find.

"What would like to drink? she asked them.

"I'll have unsweet tea with lemon, please," Olivia said and Elliot asked for a water. The waitress was back in a minute with their drinks. Olivia and Elliot were looking through their menus.

"I'm craving a pasta," Olivia said, feeling her stomach growl in hunger.

"I'm going for a classic pepperoni pizza. You can never go wrong there," Elliot said with a smile. They gave their waitress their order and then settled into easy conversation.

"So, how is your family?" Olivia asked taking a sip of her tea.

"They're doing really great. I actually have a recent picutre of them." Elliot reached into his wallet and pulled out a photograph. Olivia shook her head in admiration.

"Wow, I can't believe how grown they are," she said. "How is Kathy?"

At this, Elliot looked up from putting his wallet back into his pocket. "Um, well... we divorced about a year ago," he muttered looking down, his face turning red.

"Oh Elliot, I'm so sorry," Olivia whispered reaching for his hand.

"It's okay, it is," he said and gave her a reassuring smile. "Anyways, what about you? How old are you now?"

Olivia gaped at Elliot and laughed. "Well don't hold back there, El," she said and he laughed. "I'm kidding. I'm 46," she answered and Elliot raised an eyebrow.

"No way. You don't look a day over thirty," he said.

"Elliot, are you flirting with me?" Olivia asked giving him a sly look.

"Maybe I am," he admitted circling the top of his cup with his finger.

"But anyways, I've been working..." Olivia stopped midsentence and remebered the past month. "Um, actually I've been at home the past month, recovering..." she said looking down. Elliot knew what she was talking about and he felt the fury grow inside of him, but also sympathy and pain for her.

"Olivia, I'm so sorry what you went through. If you ever need anything just..."

"I'm fine," Olivia interrupted. "Let's not talk about it okay?"

"Yeah, of course."

There was a moment of silence until Olivia spoke up.

"So where are you working? Do you still live here in New York?" Olivia asked. Elliot shook his head.

"I moved to New Jersey back in 2011. I'm a teacher at the high school. I teach Intro to Criminal Justice," he said.

"Really? Wow, that's great. I can see you as a teacher," Olivia said and they both laughed. "Are you seeing anyone?"

"No, actually. What about you?"

"No, although I have dated a couple men these past few years. It never worked out in the end, though."

"I'm sorry about that," Elliot said. He couldn't imagine why a guy would break up with Olivia, if the guys were the ones to end it.

They enjoyed their meal and conversation, and at the end of dinner Elliot walked Olivia out to her car.

"That was really nice, Olivia. I hope we can see each other again."

"I had a great evening. And yeah, let me know when you're in the city and we'll do something. Goodnight, Elliot."

"Goodnight, Liv," and Elliot leaned in to kiss her on the cheek.

"Woah, that was a surprise," Olivia said with a nervous laugh.

"Couldn't resist," he said shrugging.

"Go home, Stabler," Olivia said getting into her car. They waved and Olivia drove off. All the way home she replayed the evening in her head. She had a great time with him and when he had kissed her cheek, she wanted to take his face in her hands and kiss his lips. "Where the hell did that come from, Liv?" she asked aloud. For the past three years she had been angry with him and all of a sudden she wanted to kiss him? She shook her head not able to comprehend it and went home.


	3. The Kiss

"So you two made up?" Fin asked after Olivia told him and the rest of the detectives about her dinner with Elliot the previous night.

"We did. I'm still hurt but seeing him was nice," she replied with a smile. Captain Cragen walked into the squad room.

"Alright, a twelve-twelve-year old girl was raped by her stepfather. Her name is Natalie Smith and the stepdad is Michael Foster, who is nowhere to be found. Benson and Amaro I want you to go visit Natalie at Mercy Hospital and listen to her story. Talk to the wife to find out where her bastard husband may have gone. Fin, check and see if he has a rap sheet, and Rollins, check airports or any other transportation services to find out if he's been to any of them, and if so, where to."

They all got to work. On the way to the hospital Olivia was distracted, thinking about Elliot. But she knew she had to concentrate on the current situation so she put Elliot at the back of her mind, or the best she could, at least.

Ten minutes later Olivia and Nick were in Natalie's hospital room after getting a report from the doctor. There was evidence the girl had been raped- there were traces of semen that were sent off to a DNA lab. Fin sent a picture of Micahel to the rest of the squad.

"Natalie, I need you to tell me what happened today," Olivia said softly, sitting in an armchair across from the girl.

"I was in my room and I was trying on a new bra that my mom had bought me. Michael knocked on my door and I told him not to come in, but he did anyways. When he saw me, he stared at me. I told him to get out but he just walked over to me," Natalie said with her head down.

"Then what happened?" Olivia prompted, using a soft voice to let the girl know it was okay.

"H- he said, 'y _ou look beautiful'_ and he touched my face. I backed up crying, telling him it wasn't right, what he was doing was wrong, but he told me to shut up. Then he pushed me onto my bed and I tried getting away but he hit me. Then he- he pulled my pants off and his pants, too and he- he put it inside of me!" Natalie cried. Olivia's heart hurt for the little girl as she told them what had happened.

"Can we be done here? She's been through enough," Natalies mother, Amelia, said.

"I just have a couple of more questions," answered Olivia and turned back to Natalie. "Where was your mom when this happened?"

"She was at the grocery store!" Natalie yelled angrily through tears.

"I never should have left her with him!" Mrs. Foster exclaimed, her own tears streaking down her face.

"You didn't know that would happen," Nick said placing a hand on her shoulder in a comforting manner.

"He's always so cross with Natalie. I shouldn't have left since she doesn't like him."

"Natalie, why do you not like your stepdad?" Olivia asked.

"He yells at me a lot and he grounds me for small things, like forgetting to take out the trash or even staying up five minutes past my bedtime."

"Natalie, you're very brave, sweetie. Thank you for talking to us," Olivia said softly smiling sweetly at the girl. Natalie only nodded in response. Olivia walked over to Mrs. Foster. "Let's speak somewhere privately, alright?" Mrs. Foster agreed and after reassuring Natalie that she would be only a minute, she went with Nick and Olivia into a quiet waiting room.

"Ma'am, your husband isn't anywhere to be found. We have other detectives checking to see if he's been to any airports, train stations, you name it. Do you have any idea where he may gone?" Nick asked.

"I have no idea..."

"Does he know that Natalie told you what happened?" Olivia asked.

"No, I don't think so."

"Then you need to call him back at the precinct so our tech guy can trace his call."

"But my daughter needs me!"

"I'll stay with her. Go with Nick, he'll take care of you," Olivia reassured her and that seemed to comfort Mrs. Foster, so she and Nick left the hospital.

Back at the precinct Fin and Munch had no luck finding Michael Foster at any of the transportation services in the city.

"Well, Michael does has a rap sheet. At the age of 18 he was arrested for statutory rape but he got off. Then in his twenties he did five years in prison then got probation after molesting his friend's younger sister," Fin said looking at his computer screen.

At this moment Nick walked in the squad room with Mrs. Foster. "We're going to try and track his phone. His wife Amelia is going to call him, he doesn't know about the rape," Nick said.

"Ok, let's do it," Cragen said. They went into a private room with the equipment ready to trace where his location was. "Now Mrs. Foster, when you call, remain calm and don't give any hint that you know what happened. We need him to be on the phone for 15 seconds to have a location, so keep him talking. Ask where he is, even though he'll most likely lie about his location. It's just a way of keeping him on the phone longer," Cragen explained.

"Got it," she said. Mrs. Foster was told to call him at that moment and she dialed his number while the tech guy put on headphones to listen in and track his location.

"Hey," Michael answered.

"Hey, Michael. I came home and you were gone. You know I don't like Natalie by herself. Where are you?"

"It's not a big deal. She was being loud so I decided to go for a drive for some peace and quiet."

"Well it's been a pretty long drive then."

"Honey I went to the beach. Why are you so concerned?"

"Well you left my 12 year old daughter at home by herself."

"She's fine isn't she? I've gotta go..."

"He hung up," Amelia said.

"Did you get anything?" Cragen asked the tech guy.

"Looks like he's at the JFK airport," he answered. They looked at each other confused because they had been told he wasn't at any of the airports.

"Fin, Munch, Nick, go now. I'll call the security at the airport and give them Michael's description and make sure he doesn't leave, if we're lucky and he hasn't. Amanda, take Mrs. Foster back to the hospital to be with her daughter and pick Olivia up," Cragen said. They followed his orders and went their seperate ways.

The three male detectives went three different directions at the airport, as to not draw attention to themselves. While Munch looked for Micahel himself, Fin was asking people if they had seen him, showing each a picture. Nick was going to get help from an airline employee.

"Excuse me, NYPD," he said, holding up his badge and cutting in front of people waiting in line. They replied with groans and complaints.

"Sir you're cutting..."

"Like I said, NYPD. Now, I need you to see if a man by the name of Michael Foster has a flight," Nick said urgently and the airline employee typed his name into the computer.

"I'm sorry, it doesn't look like a Michael Foster has anything booked," the man replied.

"Oh, um, well then, have you seen this guy?" Nick asked holding up Michael's picture.

"Yes, about thirty minutes ago."

"Well do you have a name for him, then?"

"Let me see. I remember he booked a flight for Seattle, Washington. Ah ha, here he is. David Phillips." The employee said turning the computer screen so Nick could see. It was Michael Foster, just under a phony name.

"Ok, thank you." Nick called Fin and Munch through their earpieces and told them the latest and they met up. "Right through here!" Nick exclaimed finding the exit to board onto the plane Michael was on. They showed their badges to the security guard and climbed onto the plane and looked around and found their guy.

"Michael Foster, NYPD!" Fin yelled. The man looked around frantically. "Don't even think about running, dumbass," Fin said pulling Michael up and cuffing him. "You're under arrest for the rape of Natalie Smith. You have the right to remain silent..." Fin read Michael the Miranda RIghts as they lead him off of the plane and then stuffed him into the back of the squad car. John was looking at his phony ID.

"So stupid," he muttered. They rode back to the precinct and the DNA had come back from the lab. It was a match to Michael and his arraignment would be two days later.

A few days later Michael Foster was found guilty of rape and was sentenced twenty-five years in prison. The squad was going to celebrate.

"Liv, you going out for drinks?" Fin asked.

"Ah, you know what, I think I'm just going to head home. I'm a bit tired, but next time for sure," she replied with a smile and she finished up some paperwork while the others left. She wasn't tired at all. Olivia had decided she wanted to call Elliot and ask if he wanted to join her for dinner. Something told her that she shouldn't, but she ignored it and called him after getting in her car.

"Oh, hi Olivia."

"Hey, Elliot. How was your day?"

"It was pretty good. What's up?"

"I wanted to see if you're up for getting dinner again?" Olivia asked, twirling a strand of hair around her finger like a teenager talking to a crush.

"Sure, that sounds great. Where do you have in mind?"

"You choose this time."

"Arlight, how about Chili's? Whenever is fine."

"Chili's sounds great. I just got off work so I can head there right now," Olivia said.

"Ok, see you in a bit."

"Ok, bye Elliot." Olivia smiled as she thought about seeing Elliot again. She turned on some music as she headed for the restaurant.

"It's good seeing you again," Elliot said when he saw her. Olivia surprised him by giving him a hug.

"You too. I'm starving," she said. They went inside and after a nice meal and conversation, Elliot walked Olivia out to her car just as he had done a couple nights before.

"I've really enjoyed getting to talk to and see you again. I've missed you, Liv," Elliot said softly. Olivia looked down at the ground.

"You really hurt me, El," she whispered. Elliot lifted up Olivia's chin so she was looking at him.

"I'm so sorry," he said. It was silent for a moment as the two long-lost friends stared at each other. They leaned in and kissed each other softly on the lips then pulled back again. Olivia's heart started to beat faster and the next moment Elliot crashed his lips onto hers. Elliot pulled Olivia closer but suddenly she stepped out of his hold.

"What's the matter?" Elliot asked confused.

"I can't do this with you. You waltz back into my life and here we are kissing, going out to eat as if everything is okay. I need to be realistic. You hurt me so badly, Elliot," Olivia said fighting to keep her tears in check.

"Olivia, I'm sor..."

"Elliot, apologizing doesn't make it any better," Olivia said sadly.

"Ok, but I thought we were enjoying spending time with each other again, catching up after the past couple of years."

"I have enjoyed it, but we can't pretend as if you've been here all along."

"I know. What do you want me to do, Olivia? I can't turn back time. I know I shouldn't have left without an explanation, without a goodbye. I own what I did."

"That's really important, El, and I'm glad you do. But I really need to take everything in and talk with my therapist. I want you back in my life, but we can't ignore it. We need to talk through it and I need to really be able to forgive you and heal." Elliot and Olivia stood there for a moment, neither one speaking. Finally, Elliot broke the silence.

"Well um, I guess I'll talk to you later?" he said in a question-like way.

"I'll be in touch, ok? Goodnight, Elliot," Olivia said and gave Elliot a solemn smile and climbed into her car.

"Goodnight, Liv." Olivia left him there, thinking about all she had said and knowing that it was all true. He hadn't wanted to talk about his leaving, but Olivia had pointed out that they couldn't ignore it. Elliot cursed himself for ever leaving in the first place, or at least, not doing it the proper way. He got in his car and headed back for New Jersey.


	4. Therapy Session

It was Tuesday, a week after Elliot had returned, and Olivia was sitting in her therapist's office.

"It's good to see him again, but, I don't know. I'm still angry at him, I'm hurt. And he thinks he can just ignore it and everything be okay, but that's not how it works," Olivia said repositioning herself on the couch. Dr. Lindstrom nodded, his hands folded together in a professional manner.

"Olivia, have you talked to Elliot, I mean really talked to him, about how it made you feel when he left?"

"Oh, well I've told him he hurt me."

"I don't believe you can move forward with Elliot until you have talked to him, because unless you do, he's not going to understand the depth of your hurt. I'm not saying that you should try and make him feel bad, but without sharing your feelings and pushing it aside, you will be stuck in the hurt and pain."

"You're right, but what if I break down, what if I cry uncontrollably?"

"Then you just do. You're human, Olivia. Why are you worried about crying?"

Olivia looked down and was twiddling her thumbs. "I have to be strong. I don't want to be weak anymore," she said in a broken voice. "I can't let him take away my strength."

"When you say him, do you mean William Lewis?"

Hearing his name made Olivia cringe. She nodded her head in response.

"Crying doesn't mean you're weak. You deserve to cry, Olivia. You've been talking to and seeing Elliot again. That's overwhelming, having to confront the one who hurt you. And the only way you would be weak, is if you ignored this completely. Talking about this makes you strong, wanting to deal with it and heal makes you strong."

Olivia didn't respond but sat there taking it all in. She deserved to cry? Good, because she had a lot of it to do! Dr. Lindstrom continued.

"And make sure you give Elliot a chance to tell his side. Ask him to explain why he left, how he felt, because he also matters and his feelings and reasonings are important, too."

"I know that, I do. But am I ready to talk about it?" Olivia asked timidly.

"That's not a question I can answer. Only you know if you're truly ready," Dr. Lindstrom replied.

Olivia walked out of Dr. Lindstrom's office trying to figure out the answer to that question. She felt if she didn't take this step towards making amends with Elliot then it would drive her crazy, knowing she had had the opportunity and letting it slip away. And she wanted her friend back, very much so. Sure, they had gone to dinner twice and even kissed, but the problem at hand was pushed aside. Olivia made the decision that she was going to sit down with Elliot and really talk to him.

 _*Sorry for the short chapter everyone! I thought about writing from Elliot's POV, but I can't think of anything. And I wanted the meeting between them to be a chapter of its own. Thanks for reading!*_


	5. Comfort, Love, Passion

Elliot sat in the living room of his suburban home drinking a beer while a new episode of his favorite show, Criminal Minds, was playing on the television. Usually Elliot would be engrossed in the case the BAU was trying to solve, correcting them out loud when they made a mistake and pumping a fist in the air when he guessed who the unsub was correctly. But tonight Criminal Minds was the least of Elliot's concerns. Instead, he was staring blankly ahead, thoughts of Olivia interrupting his concentration of the show.

Liv had been his biggest loss after leaving SVU, but he had brought it upon himself, hadn't he? He was the one to leave without a goodbye, him losing her was his fault. Elliot could have stayed, or at least he could have left with an explanation and a goodbye. So why hadn't he? The answer wasn't lost on him. It was his anger, or really, his barely being able to take control of that anger. After his sixth on-the-job shooting, which resulted in the death of a teenage girl, IAB wanted to open an investigation on him and in order to keep his job, Elliot would have to submit to a psych evaluation and anger management. Elliot knew he had anger problems, so why didn't he start anger management? Why did he leave? He knew it was because he didn't want to face his inner demon which tortured him day in and day out. For so long he had ignored it, hoping he would be able to control his anger the next time. He couldn't face it, he had been used to ignoring it for so long.

Elliot drowned his beer in order for his mind to partially forget the stress he was feeling. It worked, and then his phone rang, Olivia on the caller ID. The stress automatically came back.

* * *

After getting home from her appointment with Dr. Lindstrom, Olivia sighed as she hung up her purse and removed her shoes. She hated the eerie silence that filled the apartment, it reminded her of that night with William Lewis... Images of Lewis burning her with cigarettes and sizzling wire on her skin flashed through her mind, but she disregarded it, and not easily. She distracted her thoughts and Elliot was the one to enter her mind. She knew she should call him and plan a day for them to talk. She sat on the couch and for a reason that was unknown to her, Olivia hesitated nearly 10 minutes to call Elliot, just staring at his number in her cell phone. Finally she pressed the call button and Elliot picked up after the fifth ring, as if he too were hesitant.

"Hey, Olivia," he said and Olivia noticed that he sounded tired by his slow speech and monotone voice.

"Elliot, hi. Is this a bad time?"

"No, I'm just watching some television. What's up with you?"

"I think we need to talk," Olivia said, getting right to the point of her call.

"Ok, what about?"

"Our friendship, you leaving, just everything."

"Oh, alright. When were you wanting to talk?" Elliot asked, growing nervous at the idea of this.

"I was thinking Friday afternoon? You know that if I'm not stuck on a case then I get off at 5."

"Yeah, ok, that sounds fine. It takes me about an hour drive to the city. Where are you wanting to talk?"

"What about Starbucks? I'll call you beforehand and let you know if I can't make it."

"Ok, sounds good. I'll possibly see you then, Olivia. Bye."

Olivia was glad that phone call was over, but now she had to worry about Friday. Why was she so nervous though? It was Elliot. She figured it was what she was going to talk to him about, and she was still worried about breaking down in tears, despite what Dr. Lindstrom said about her being strong. Olivia got up from her couch and went to the kitchen to fix herself a glass of wine. She felt uneasy as she passed the hallway where William Lewis had been lurking in the darkness and she quickly turned on the light, wanting to ignore her PTSD, but failing to do so. Olivia sank to the floor, crying out in despair, and cursed the man who had done this to her.

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" Olivia screamed pounding her fist into the carpet, then breathing hard in anger. When she was calmed down, physically, that is, Olivia got up off the floor and fixed herself yet another glass of wine. She knew she shouldn't, it wasn't good for people with PTSD to drink, but she didn't care as long as it partially erased the flashbacks and fear.

* * *

Friday afternoon, Olivia was able to leave the precinct at 5:00, but not before Captain Cragen called her into his office.

"What's up Cap?" she asked sitting down in a leather chair across from his desk.

"How have you been?" he asked, concern written on his face.

"I've been fine..."

"Olivia, ever since you've come back you've been tired, distracted, and I understand why. You experienced three terrible, horrific days. If you need more time off..."

"I don't, alright? I'm in therapy and that's been good for me," Olivia interrupted, feeling herself getting frustrated.

"I'm always here, ok? I don't want you to go through this alone," Cragen said with a soft expression on his face. He wasn't smiling, but he still had a friendly, fatherly look on his face.

"Thank you, Captain. Goodnight." Olivia stood up and was opening the door when the Captain asked her another question.

"How has it been, living alone again?" Olivia looked down before turning to face Cragen. She wanted to tell the truth. It had been hard, extremely hard. She sighed and looked him in the eye.

"It hasn't been easy," she whispered. Cragen walked over to her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Rollins told me that if you need, she will come stay with you for a little while." Olivia blinked.

"Why- what- when did you talk about me?" she asked shocked.

"I was just asking the squad how they felt you were doing and it just came up," he replied. Olivia nodded but didn't say anything and left the Captain's office, embarrassed that they had talked about her without her knowing. Amanda caught up with Olivia when she was getting on the elevator and told her the same thing Cragen had told Olivia.

"Thank you, Amanda. I'll let you know if I need you to come," Olivia said with a tense smile.

"Anytime, Liv." They went their separate ways and Olivia checked her clock. It was 5:15. She shook her head in disbelief. Not only was she worried about having a serious conversation with Elliot, she was also dealing with PTSD and her coworkers talking about her behind her back.

About twenty minutes later Olivia arrived at Starbucks and after parking went inside. She waited for Elliot by the door, looking out the window and just a few minutes later he arrived.

"Hey," he said smiling, not sure if he should give Olivia a hug or not.

"Hi," she said and gave him a side hug, unlike the close hug she had given him on there last dinner date, if you could call it a "date." They both ordered a cup off coffee and decided to sit outside where just a couple of tables were occupied. Neither one spoke for a few moments, sipping on their hot beverages and glancing awkwardly at each other and then averting their glances. Olivia cleared her throat and broke the silence. "Um, thanks for meeting up with me."

Elliot nodded in response. "No problem. You wanted to talk?"

"Yeah, but... I don't know. It's not easy to start," Olivia said with a sigh. Elliot surprised her when he placed his hand on top of hers.

"Just talk to me," he said softly and it somewhat eased Olivia's nerves. She nodded and after a few seconds began.

"Well, I went to work the next week and, I wondered where you were. Cragen called me in his office and told me you had turned your papers in. It- it shocked me. I know you would've had to have a psych eval and anger management and you probably wouldn't like that, but I didn't think you'd just straight up leave your job. I mean, I thought you would at least come talk..." Olivia's voice cracked just a little and she cleared her throat again and blinked back the tears that were threatening to betray her strength, or the strength that her therapist said she supposedly had. Olivia continued on.  
"I thought you would at least come and talk to me, but you didn't, Elliot. After my mom, I have never felt such a sense of betrayal, confusion, but most of all, hurt. I felt betrayed because I was your best friend and we told each other everything and you held something back, you didn't tell me what you were feeling, about why you were considering leaving SVU. I was confused about why you didn't talk to me and I tried to search for the reasons why, but I never found a plausible one. And I was hurt, hurt and broken hearted that my best friend never said goodbye to me. It cut me like a knife, it was what caused me the most heartache and sadness. Elliot, you have no idea how much your actions affected me," Olivia said her voice breaking.

Elliot was speechless. He had no idea his leaving had affected her so greatly. Hell, he thought maybe he was doing everyone a favor by leaving, he was an angry beast, right? He hated how broken Olivia had become, and her brokenness was his fault. He had never felt so guilty than right at that moment. Elliot stood up and Olivia followed him. Elliot leaned against the sidewalk railed and sighed. It was him who cleared his throat now.

"I um, if I had known how my leaving would affect you, I would have made different decisions. I never knew just how terrible you've felt, and I'm sorry if it's seemed I've disregarded it or acted as if it didn't matter, because it does, Liv." Elliot said this with such guilt and shame, his voice cracking as he swallowed back his tears.

"It's okay, because I never told you, until now," Olivia said, realizing just how sorry Elliot was. It had to be something major to bring him to tears. "But my partner, Nick, he's a great guy and I've enjoyed working with him."

Elliot nodded and managed a smile."That's good to hear." He shook his head and wiped a tear away. "I'm sorry, but I can't cry here," he muttered and headed for the parking lot across the street.

"Elliot!" Olivia called and jogged across the street when it was clear and caught up with him. His arm was on his car, his head resting on his arm. "Hey." He looked up and Olivia noticed his tear stained face. "Oh, Elliot," she said softly and she pulled him into a hug. He pulled back and wiped his eyes and face with his hand.

"I'm fine," he said in a deep voice, as if trying to regain his manliness.

"No, don't give me that," Olivia said sternly, knowing good and well that he was not fine. "Let's go to my apartment, you don't have to be embarrassed there," Olivia suggested. Elliot nodded and so they climbed in Olivia's car.

The 30 minutes it took to get to Olivia's apartment, Elliot looked out the window the entire time. He was humiliated that he had gotten emotional and that he had accepted Olivia's offer to go to her apartment. He felt so vulnerable and worried he seemed needy. But it was important they finish their conversation, he couldn't leave now.

* * *

It was 6:20 when they entered Olivia's apartment and Elliot smiled as he looked around.

"Nice place."

"Thank you," Olivia quickly said. She hadn't found it nice the past month. "Do you want anything to drink?"

"A glass of water would be nice." Elliot sat in a barstool at the counter while Olivia filled a glass with ice and water. "Thanks," he said after she handed it to him. He wasn't feeling like he needed to cry, and for that he was thankful. Olivia sat down beside him.

"Um, I owe you an explanation for the choices I made, about why I left, why I didn't say goodbye," Elliot said and Olivia nodded, glad that he knew this. "It was my sixth on-the-job shooting, you know? And it was cleared, but I was going to have to have a psych eval, anger management, and even though I knew I had anger problems, I've never really tried to do anything about it, and I realize it's because I don't want to face that inner demon. It's easier to ignore it, and just hope that the next time I'm mad it won't get out-of-control. I have so much self-hate because of my anger. All those times I would knock out the perps, it felt so good, you know? But I knew I had lost control again, and even though it felt good to hit them, I knew it was wrong and the self-hate would grow, especially when that anger was directed towards my family. So why didn't I go to therapy? That's what I regret the most. I feel I shouldn't be scared of acknowledging my problem if it bothers me so bad. Leaving SVU was me running away from having to address the problem, you know?"

Olivia nodded, finally starting to understand why he chose what he did. Elliot continued.

"But th- there's one main reason I've never wanted to acknowledge my anger," he said looking down. Olivia bent her head down so she was able to see his face.

"And that is?"

Elliot looked back up at her, and the look on his face made Olivia's heart break for him and her stomach knot up. His blue eyes that usually shined bright were dull and lifeless, and his lip was quivering. When he spoke his voice sounded different, a sound Olivia had never heard come from Elliot. It was a broken voice, shrill in sound.

"My dad... I told myself I would never become like him!" Elliot managed through the tears that finally betrayed the "manly" facade he had been trying to hide his emotions and vulnerability behind. Olivia started to weep as she saw how much pain the man she had loved for so long was in. She opened her arms for Elliot and he fell into her embrace, his shoulders shaking as he cried.

"It's okay, Elliot, it's okay. I'm here, and don't ever feel like you can't cry, especially in front of me. I'm here for you," Olivia whispered in soothing tones. Elliot continued to cry as Olivia held him, memories of his abusive father flashing through his mind, regretting what he had done to Olivia, and for her grace and forgiveness she was showering him with. He finally sat up and Olivia brushed away his tears. Brown eyes met blue, and in that instant it was just the two of them. Two hurting people who were in need of comfort and love.

In that instant, unsure of who made the initiative mood, Olivia and Elliot were kissing, more passionately and with more force by the second. They stood up and Elliot's hands traveled down Olivia's back and up again into her hair, pulling her closer to him. She parted her mouth open and moaned when Elliot's tongue swirled around hers. She allowed herself to give into her desires and ignore everything else.

"Elliot?" Olivia muttered into his mouth.

"Hmm?"

"Do you want to see my room?" she asked and they both laughed and kissed again.

"Yes," he said and in one quick motion swept Olivia off her feet and she pointed the direction of her bedroom. Elliot kissed her all the way there and Olivia turned on a lamp by her bed. She sauntered over to Elliot and ran her hands over his shoulders and chest, slowly running her hand under his shirt, making him gasp at the touch of her cold hands on his warm body. Elliot helped Olivia take off his shirt and she kissed his chest, gliding her hands down his hard six pack, causing goosebumps to coat his body.

Elliot kissed Olivia, dominating her mouth with his tongue as he brought her shirt over her body and tossed it to the floor. Olivia gasped when his icy hands slid down her torso, but the mixture of fire and ice just turned her on even more.

"Get my bra off of me," she grunted impatiently and she placed her hands on top of Elliot's, leading them to her skin toned bra. He quickly unfastened it and also tossed it aside, and soon they were both naked, taking in the sight of one another. Elliot stared at the goddess in front of him, with round full breasts with hardened nipples, a slim body, and a single strip of pubic hair from the top of her mound to her clit. Olivia's mysterious almond-colored eyes were reflecting the light produced by the lamp, causing them to sparkle and burn with desire. Looking over her breasts once more, his traveling gaze came to a stop when he noticed round scars on her chest, results from cigarette burns. His heart cried out for her, hating what she had gone through and wishing he had somehow been able to prevent it.

Olivia remembered her scars and realized they were what Elliot was looking at. Becoming self-conscious she turned away, ashamed. "I'm sorry," she whispered, but Elliot turned her back towards him. He ran his hand through her shoulder-length hair.

"There is nothing for you to apologize for, Liv. I'm here with you now, and you are safe and you are loved," he said softly and realized he had told Olivia he loved her. Olivia's eyes glistened with tears and she kissed his hand, finally ready to tell him how she had felt after all of those years.

"I love you too, Elliot," she whispered, genuinely meaning it.

Continuing, Olivia stared at Elliot, her eyes darting up and down his muscular body and growing erection that she longed to have inside of her. Both growing more impatient, they launched themselves into the other's hold and in an a few seconds Olivia was lying on her bed as Elliot explored her body with his mouth, breathing in her sweet, perfumed scent and planting kisses along the way. His hands explored her body, kneading her breasts and then trailing them down her belly and inner thighs. Elliot sucked on Olivia's erect nipples eliciting whimpers from her and then a louder cry when she felt a single finger tracing the wet lips of her p*ssy.

Elliot wriggled down to his destination and didn't hesitate to take Olivia's clit in his mouth and slip his middle finger inside of her, sliding it in and out, hitting her g-spot each time. Olivia cried out louder for the pleasure was overwhelming. Between Elliot's tongue and his fingers buried deep inside of her, it didn't take long for her orgasm to build. She let Elliot know she was going to come, barely able to get the words out. Olivia felt her p*ssy clench and tingle, and soon her orgasm shot through her core, causing her legs to arch and her legs to tremble. She cried out Elliot's name as she felt the pleasure course through her body and Elliot pulled out of her and kissed her clit, then hovered over Olivia and kissed her. She took his hand and sucked Elliot's fingers dry, making him groan at how sexy she was.

"Come here, baby," Olivia said motioning for Elliot to stand in front of her so she could suck his c*ck. Elliot groaned and rested his hands on the wall when Olivia's warm, moist mouth wrapped around his rod and her tongue circled its sensitive tip. She sucked hard and deep, causing Elliot to grow harder inside her mouth. After a few minutes Olivia couldn't take it anymore. She needed Elliot inside of her. "Elliot, I need you inside of me," she muttered against his stomach she was planting kisses down.

Elliot sat up on his knees and took Olivia's face in his hands and kissed her softly. She laid on her back and Elliot slid into her, holding his head back when he felt her tight p*ssy around his c*ck.

"Oh god, Olivia. You feel amazing," he moaned thrusting in and out of her.

"I was going to say- ah! - the same thing."

Elliot picked up the speed of his thrusts and pounded Olivia with all his might, putting all of the love he had for her into each movement. Soon Olivia came, whimpering and calling out his name. Elliot felt Olivia's p*ssy convulsing around him and his climax started to build.

"Fuck, Liv!" he exclaimed as he spilled into her. After kissing Olivia he gently pulled out of her and then laid beside her, both of them panting. "That was amazing," Elliot whispered. Olivia rested her head on his chest and trailed her fingers over his happy trail.

Olivia checked the time on the clock and it was only 7:30. Despite how early it was, they drifted off to sleep.

* * *

 ***Hey guys, hope this chapter wasn't too long, and I can't think of a title for it because of all the different scenarios, so suggestions are appreciated! :) ***


	6. Olivia Opens up to Elliot

**Alright I'm back! Enjoy! :)**

It was Saturday morning and Olivia was the first one to awaken. She felt a warm body under her touch, and found herself lying in Elliot's hold, her hand and head on his chest. She sat up and noticed Elliot was sound asleep. Olivia chuckled at the sight of him, in all his adorableness and innocence. Running her fingers through his untidy hair, Olivia recalled the events of the night before and how they had ended up on the couch.

They had woken up from their "evening nap" at about 10 o'clock, both to find their stomachs rumbling in hunger. They agreed on pizza so after their pepperoni pizza and liter of Mt. Dew was delivered, they settled onto the couch, the pizza on the coffee table and enjoying their fatty food and nice conversation.  
Afterwards, they had covered up with a blanket while finding a movie to watch on TV. They had drifted off in one another's arms, the movie still playing.

Olivia quietly removed herself from the couch as to not wake Elliot up, and decided to make coffee. Glancing at the clock on the stove, she noticed it was 9:30. On week days she got up at 6, and on the weekends "slept in," if you could call it that, until 7, so today was a record for how late she was to get up.

Olivia noticed Elliot walking into the kitchen in boxer shorts and a white tshirt, with half-opened eyes encrusted with eye boogers. She laughed at the sight of him and he grunted in response.

"Can I help you?" he asked in a groggy voice.

"Oh, it's just that I've never seen you in all your morning -ness," Olivia said motioning her hand up and down as she eyed Elliot. He laughed mockingly at her, but then smiled genuinely and kissed her sweet hair. "Coffee?" Olivia asked opening the cabinet for the coffee cups.

"Please," he said sitting at the counter where he had the night before. They were silent as Olivia fixed their coffee and Elliot regained his energy. Olivia slid his cup over to him and after he added some creamer he took a sip, appreciative of the caffeine that would better wake him up.

"Um, do you want to hang out around here today?" Olivia asked shyly. She dreaded the idea of Elliot leaving. For the first time in over a month, she felt safe with him there. She didn't have any nightmares while she slept in his arms and overall she felt happy.

"That'd be nice," Elliot replied with a smile as he brought the cup up to his lips and taking another sip.

"Oh, what would you like for breakfast?" Olivia asked, losing herself in her thoughts and forgetting that it was morning and that in the morning you eat breakfast.

"You don't have to make anything, I can have a bowl of cereal."

"Elliot," Olivia said in a tone that said _"come on now, don't lie to me."_

"How about I cook something? What about eggs and bacon?" he suggested.

"Alright, that sounds good, but you don't have to." Elliot gave Olivia a kiss on the cheek, noticing how soft and smooth her skin was.

"I want to, babe," he whispered and Olivia waved a hand in front of her face with a look of disgust on her face.

"Gosh, your breath is rank!" Olivia said and Elliot breathed in her face knowing it'd annoy her. Olivia pushed him away laughing. "Elliot, stop!"

"Ok, ok. I'll go brush my teeth, but do you have another toothbrush I can use?" he asked Olivia. She nodded and lead him to her bathroom and after digging around under the sink she came back up with a new toothbrush.

"Brush good," she said and gave Elliot a kiss on the cheek. She left him there grinning like a fool, a fool in love, that is.

While Olivia sat in the living room reading a novel by her favoritie author, Jodie Picoult, Elliot whistled and fried up some bacon and eggs. He remembered how he would do the same thing when he and Kathy were married, but it was different with Olivia, or maybe it was the fact there weren't children around. Speaking of children:

"Oh, tomorrow I'll have to be gone by noon. It's my week with Elliot Jr.," Elliot called to Olivia and he looked up when she didn't reply. The sight distracted him from the bacon he had been frying in the pan. Olivia was seated on the couch with her legs propped under her, lost in her novel. She looked stunning even in her pajamas, her hair thrown in a messy bun with various strands loose and tangled. Seeing Olivia in her home, calm and relaxed, instilled in him a new feeling of tranquiliy and admiration. With Kathy, it was always chaotic and loud because of the kids, or even with them asleep, the couple were bickering and peace and quiet was rare for them. But this was Olivia, he had never seen her in her home, in her pajamas. It was a beautiful sight and warmed Elliot's heart. Olivia looked up and smiled slightly, her eyes narrowed.

"What?" she asked and Elliot turned his attention back to the bacon which he noticed was extra crispy and soon to be burned.

"I was mesmerized by your beauty for a moment," he replied using a spatula to move the bacon onto a plate.

"Aw, you sound like a poet or something," Olivia said and laughed merrily, and Elliot revelled in the joyous sound.

They ate breakfast and afterwards showered together, gently washing one another and making love under the steaming water pouring down on them. While drying Olivia off, Elliot once again noticed the burn marks scattered across her chest. He gently raised his hand to run is fingertips over Olivia's wet body and looked at her with tears in his eyes.

"What did he do to you?" he whispered in a broken voice, not even trying to hold his tears back. Olivia took Elliot's hand and kissed it then squeezed it gently.

"Nothing you need to know," she finally muttered, letting go of his hand and turning away. In an instant her gentle, soothing demeanor turned into shame and disgrace. Olivia was caught off-guard when Elliot took her by the shoulders and turned her around to where she was facing him again. He couldn't help but feel a pang of frustration.

"That's not fair, Liv. I've shared with you the most troubling parts about me and my pain, my fears. Let me in, please. I want to be there for you, I want to comfort you, baby. I don't want you to be alone in this," Elliot pleaded with tears streaming down his cheeks.

Suddenly Olivia wrapped herself around Elliot and began crying, then sobbing as he held her there in the bathroom. She knew he was right, that she should share with him her story, as it would only be fair, and also necessary. With telling Elliot, her best friend, her lover, would be another step towards healing because how could she keep it inside? Sure, telling her therapist was helpful, but what is a relationship if you keep stuff from your significant other? That's what love is, sharing your heartaches, fears, and your vulnerabilites with one another so you can lean on and support one another and because it's so very intimate and trusting to do so.

Finally Olivia pulled back and looked up into Elliot's ocean-like blue eyes by the tears that filled them. She cupped his damp cheek and smiled sadly at him. "Let's get dressed and then I'll tell you," she said. They dressed and got ready for the day then went and sat in the living room.  
Knowing that she no longer should, nor wanted to, put it off any longer, Olivia started from the beginning, about when she and her fellow detectives first met William Lewis and interrogated him. She cried while telling him of all of the things Lewis did to her, from burning her with cigarettes and branded wire coat hangers to force-feeding her alcohol and beating her while she was handcuffed to an iron frame bed. Elliot sat there listening to Olivia's story shaking his head, his fist clenched in fury, but also with tears falling to the ground as he heard of what she went through and that he wasn't able to help.

"How did the squad find you? Did you free yourself?" Elliot asked looking up at Olivia who was nervously chewing her fingernail. She nodded and Elliot pulled her hand away from her mouth and held onto it.

"I did. William was about to um, sexually assault me, _(she did not like the word rape when referring to herself)_ but there was a knock at the door. While he went to answer it I used all of my strength and broke free from the iron frame bed and then subdued Lewis when he came back and then I was the one to handcuff _him_ to the bed. I found the mother and daughter who had come to the door in another room Lewis had put them in and told them who I was and to leave and then..." Olivia hesitated and shook her head at what happened next. Elliot lifted Olivia's head up gently by the chin.

"Then what?" he asked softly and Olivia burst into tears.

"Elliot I nearly killed him!" she wailed and Elliot pulled Olivia into his arms and held her close. "I reached a breaking point, El. He was sitting there taunting me, testing me. I thought of you, all of the things you would have done to him. He talked about you, saying how I missed you, how I wanted you, and I snapped. God Elliot, I beat him with that metal rod over and over and over again. He screamed and hollered in pain until I beat him unconscious," Olivia whispered in a trembling voice. "I lied though," she said. "I would've lost my badge, so I told IAB that I had beat him in self-defense. But I hadn't. I did it not only for revenge, but out of fury, humiliation, for what he put me through. I had never suffered more or been through anything as horrific as what I went through in those three days with him."

It was silent for a moment, as Olivia cried and trembled as Elliot held her. "I'm so sorry, Olivia," he whispered, his voice cracking. Olivia buried her head into his chest and hugged him tight. Elliot looked down at her.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there. I'm so sorry I ever left," Elliot said crying and Olivia took his face in her hands.

"Shh, baby. Don't," Olivia said shaking her head and kissed Elliot. He kissed her back, leaning into her and gently lying her down on the couch. Elliot wanted to fully express with his actions just how much he loved Olivia, how he always had, and how sorry he was to have left her just two years prior. Olivia moaned as Elliot ran his cool hand up Olivia's shirt and grabbed her breast, massaging it as his free hand ran along her inner thigh and then gently cupping her covered sex in his hand. "Oh, Elliot," Olivia whimpered, thrusting her hips to feel his palm against her clit. She reached for the hem of Elliot's shirt and he pulled it up over his hand and tossed it on the ground. They worked to remove all other clothing until they were both naked and took in the sight of one another. Olivia ran her hands over Elliot's chest, feeling his abs underneath his chest hair and noticing the toned muscles in his arms. She glanced down and he was already long and hard. Olivia groaned as she imagined him inside of her and forcefully kissed Elliot. "I want you," she whispered, lightly tracing his lips with her tongue. Elliot ran his fingertips along her wet lips of her p**sy and Olivia drew in a breath at the tickling sensation.

Elliot leaned down and kissed Olivia's lips, then neck and whispered, "I love you," into her ear.

"I love you too, El," she whispered back, stroking his cheek and then giving him another kiss. Elliot slowly slipped inside of Olivia, and the world was forgotten as they made love, reveling in the touch of one another and holding on to each other tightly. Elliot pulled Olivia into his arms and thrust harder inside of her, causing her to cry out as she felt him hit her g-spot. Elliot kissed Olivia, cramming his tongue into her mouth and dominating hers with his own. She moaned into his mouth as she grind her hips to match the rhythm of his thrusts and soon they were coming, crying out each other's name and collapsing on the couch, both panting from the aftermath of their powerful orgasms.

They laid there for a litte while and after regaining their breath they both re-dressed and got ready for the day. For lunch they ate at a small and comfortable cafe and both grabbed a cup of coffee. It was a cold but beautiful day and they were strolling along the path in Central Park, Elliot's arm draped over Olivia's shoulder. Olivia smiled as she looked around at the beautiful trees and the kids who ran around playing and laughing. She felt like how they looked: happy, content and without a care in the world, well for the time being... Olivia looked up at Elliot.

"I feel really good being with you, El. I feel safe, happy, and I thought I may never feel that way again," she said and Elliot came to a stop and looked down at her.

"I feel the same way, darling. And you deserve every good and amazing thing. I love you, and I'm here for you, always." Elliot kissed Olivia and they continued on their walk.

That evening Olivia laid in bed with Elliot, her head on his chest and his arm around her pulling her close. He stroked her hair while she ran her fingertips over his chest.

"I have to pick Eli up tomorrow at 1. It's my week with him," Elliot said, repeating what he had told Olivia that morning but what she hadn't paid attention to.

"Oh, alright," she said and Elliot thought he heard a trace of sadness in her voice. He tilted his head so he could see her.

"What's wrong?" he asked and she shook her head, blinking back her tears.

"Nothing," she whispered but Elliot knew better. He sat up and pulled Olivia up with him then cupped her cheek in his hand. Olivia cast her eyes downward but Elliot tilted her chin up.

"Olivia," he said and tears pooled in her cocoa-colored orbs.

"I'm scared of being alone again," she whispered in a broken voice. It crushed Elliot's heart, the fear that was evident in Olivia's voice, her face that was scrunched tightly with tears cascading down her cheeks. Elliot pulled Olivia into his embrace and closed his eyes as he rubbed her back. She cried softly into his shoulder as she pulled him tighter against her. Olivia felt silly, like a child with seperation anxiety and she told Elliot this.

"No, baby. Don't feel silly, it's understandable. And I'm a phone call and a face-time away," Elliot said softly and tucked a strand of Olivia's hair behind her ear.

"I know," she sighed and Elliot smiled and kissed her on the lips. They sat there in the bed kissing over and over, both not wanting to go to sleep for they knew that tomorrow would mean saying goodbye. After making love once more, Olivia and Elliot finally drifted off to sleep, whispering to each other in the dark, _"I love you"_ andwords of comfort for Olivia.


	7. Goodbye, For Now

_***Sorry guys for the super late update! I hope you all enjoy! :)***_

Elliot was to pick up Eli at 8 a.m. Olivia dreaded the fact they would have to say goodbye, afraid of how she would cope with being alone again. Elliot being with her gave her a sense of protection and peace, and she was annoyed with herself that she was dependent on someone for that, that she couldn't take care of her own damn self.

Liv stirred from a restful sleep, relieved that she hadn't had any nightmares. The clock on the bedside table read 7:00 and Olivia felt a rush of panic; she had less than an hour left with Elliot. She nudged him softly and he muttered a groggy, "what."

"You have to pick Eli up in an hour."

Elliot's eyes opened slowly, squinting in response to the sunlight that was shining through the curtains. "I should've set an alarm," he groaned rubbing his face with his hand.

"Do you need a shower?" Olivia asked and Elliot smirked.

"Yeah, I do," he said and Olivia bit her bottom lip and took Elliot's hand. They took a quick shower, washing each other and kissing underneath the stream of water. The two dressed and ate quick breakfast- coffee and frozen waffles. Elliot apologized for not making a proper breakfast but Olivia shook her head.

"Don't be, El. Plus, I need to go grocery shopping and I should be the one to cook for you. Next time I will," she said rinsing off their syrup covered plates in the sink. Elliot smirked and stood behind Olivia, his hands on her hips. He kissed her neck and traced the shell of her ear with his tongue, sending chills up her spine.

"There's going to be a next time?" he asked and Olivia turned around to face him and narrowed her eyes.

"Of course there will be, why do you say that?"

"I was just making sure," he said and Liv stuck out her tongue at Elliot who kissed her, dominating her mouth with his tongue.

"Oh God," Olivia groaned as Elliot planted kisses along her neck. She looked at the clock on the stove, it was 7:30. "How long will it take you to get to Kathy's place?" she asked Elliot and he thought for a second.

"At least 15 minutes," he replied and Olivia grabbed him by his shirt and kissed him.

"We have time," she muttered into his mouth and Elliot caught on to what she had in mind and smirked. He quickly pulled down Olivia's pants and then his own, uncovering his hardening c*ck. Elliot licked his hand and rubbed Olivia's p*ssy and slipped inside of her, making her gasp at the sudden pleasure she felt as he hit her g-spot. Against the kitchen counter he pounded her harder and harder, not taking his eyes off of hers. Olivia whimpered and rubbed her clit, doubling the sensation and squirting over Elliot's manhood. Elliot pulled out of her and bent Olivia over onto the kitchen island. He slid back inside of her and slammed into her harder than before, and her moans turned into loud cries. She felt her release building and reached back and kissed Elliot and he kneaded her breasts with his hands. They both reached their climax and yelled out in pleasure, calling out each other's names. Olivia's legs were trembling from the aftermath of her orgasm, and Elliot gently sat her up on the counter after pulling out of her. He kissed her softly and after cleaning up it was time to say goodbye.

"I love you," Elliot whispered, running his thumb over Olivia's soft cheek. She smiled and kissed him and leaned her forehead against his.

"I love you too, Elliot," she said and they embraced. Olivia felt tears sting her eyes, but internally scolded herself and forced herself not to cry. But dammit, Elliot knew her too well and looked concerned when he noticed the solemn look on her face.

"Baby, are you alright?" he asked gently and she shrugged and smiled sadly.

"I will be," she whispered and Elliot kissed her forehead.

"I've got to go, but I'll call you tonight," he told her. Olivia nodded and lead Elliot to the door. He tried to hug her but she gently pushed him out into the hall.

"Go, El," she said and shut the door on him, regretting it, but she didn't want Elliot to see her break down, which is exactly what she did. She sat against the door and buried her head in her hands, muffling her sobs. She couldn't bear to see Elliot leave, and her emotional meltdown embarrassed her. She was a grown woman, not some young child with separation anxiety...

The rest of the day Olivia slept, avoiding the loneliness. She awoke at three o'clock, her stomach growling as a result of missing lunch. The thought of getting out of bed was a dreadful one, she felt no motivation and no reason for doing anything if she couldn't do it with Elliot. She knew she was growing dependent on him because without him, everything seemed meaningless. She didn't feel safe without him, she didn't feel she could be alone. Surely that was unhealthy, but Olivia didn't care, as long as it meant Elliot was in her life.

 **Elliot's POV**

"Goodnight little man, sleep well," Elliot told his mini-me after tucking him in for the night. Their day consisted of eating pizza for lunch, seeing a movie, and spending the afternoon at the park. For dinner Elliot cooked up some chicken tenders and mac and cheese, something easy and that Eli would enjoy. Elliot ran his hand through his hair and decided to call Olivia like he had told her he would. He sat on the couch and dialed her number.

"Elliot, hi," Olivia said and Elliot could hear the smile in her voice, making him grin as well.

"Hey babe, what are you up to?"

"Oh, well I just got back from the grocery store not that long ago. How was your day with Elliot Junior?"

"It was great. He goes back to his mom's on Wednesday. How about the three of us spend some time together one day before then?"

"Yeah, that sounds fun. I think Tuesday afternoon will work for me."

"Alright, I'll pick Eli up from school and we can do something then." It was silent for a moment and Elliot smirked. "What are you wearing?"

"A black lace bra and panties to match and I'm touching myself as I lay in bed talking to you," Olivia said and Elliot laughed.

"For real?"

"Nah, I'm wearing sweats and a tank and my hair looks like shit."

"I doubt it, Liv. You look beautiful no matter what you are wearing and no matter what style your hair is in," Elliot said, not just to make her feel good, but also because it was how he genuinely felt about her. "You are perfect in every single way," he whispered.

"Elliot, I am far from perfect," Olivia muttered and Elliot closed his eyes, wishing she wouldn't doubt herself like that. "I miss you," she said and Elliot smiled.

"I miss you too, I'll call you tomorrow evening and we'll make plans for Tuesday, alright?"

"That sounds good. And El?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you." Elliot smiled again, those three words making his heart flutter.

"I love you too, Liv. Goodnight."

"'Night to you too." They hung up and Elliot laid there in bed with a huge grin on his face, thinking that life couldn't get any better. Meanwhile, Olivia was lying in her bed with tears dribbling down her face, terrified to fall asleep because she knew that when she did, the nightmares would come back because Elliot was not there beside her.


	8. Nightmares and Elliot

" _GAHHHHHHH," Olivia screamed as she heard the sizzle of the scorching wire singe her skin. That **sound** made the pain 10x worse. The Beast left it on her for 10 seconds and it burned into her skin, sending her nerve endings on a frenzy of unbearable agony. "PLEASE, WILLIAM, STOP!" Olivia wailed as tears streamed down her face. He carefully pulled the wire out that had embedded itself in her skin, and Olivia cried as it ached and throbbed and continued to sear with pain._

 _"Would you like something to make that feel better?" The Beast asked and Olivia nodded her head frantically. He smirked and grabbed her head in a forceful kiss. "Then you'll have to do as I say," he whispered in her ear, freeing her hands from the ropes he had bound her to the chair in. The Beast grabbed Olivia by the hair and threw her on the bed, kicking her in the stomach when she tried to get up. She cried in more pain and he unbelted his pants and placed himself in front of Olivia's mouth._ _Olivia couldn't wake up. Why couldn't she wake up? Just as The Beast was about to make her do the unspeakable, Olivia jerked awake, her skin feeling as though the dream was real, that she had actually been tortured with burning wire._

She sat up, trembling from head to toe and covered in sweat. She began to sob and rocked back and forth as she wrapped her arms around herself. Olivia glanced at the clock; it was 3 in the morning. She thought of Elliot and continued to cry. She needed him, bad, but she didn't want to bother him at this hour. Olivia got up and made herself a cup of tea after turning on every light in the apartment. She curled up on the couch and sipped on her warm beverage and tried escaping into the novel she was reading, but she couldn't. Images of William Lewis kept flashing in her mind, giving her a migraine. Olivia took some ibuprofen and looked at her phone. She shook her head and sighed, and then dialed Elliot's number. By the fourth ring she didn't think he was going to answer but she was surprised when she heard the line pick up.

"Olivia?" Elliot said groggily. Olivia closed her eyes, feeling extreme guilt for doing this to him.

"El, Elliot," she stuttered. "I um, I'm sorry for calling you so late."

"Is everything okay?" He asked in a questioning tone.

"No it's not. I know it's stupid but I had a nightmare and it was awful, and I tried to read but I can't stop thinking about him and I need you," Olivia rambled anxiously.

"Alright, ok. Do you need to see me?"

"I mean, if it's okay with you. If you want to go back to sleep you can tell me..."

"Olivia, I would never go back to sleep on you like this, not when you're this frantic baby," Elliot said softly and through her tears Olivia managed a small smile. How did she deserve this sweet, caring man?

"Ok, um, thank you. I can drive over there if you're okay with that."

"That'd be fine. I'll text you my address. Just let me know when you get here, ok?"

"Ok, El. I love you."

"I love you too, Liv." Olivia threw on some sweats and a jacket and after putting on shoes she left her apartment and got in her car. She listened to some music as she drove over to Jersey and arrived at Olivia's house in about 45 minutes. She texted Elliot notifying him that she was at his place and waited until he opened the front door in his boxers and a tank top. Olivia giggled at the sight and placed a hand on his chest and kissed him on the lips.

"You're adorable," she said and Elliot chuckled and let her inside. "How was your day with Eli?" Olivia asked in a whisper. It was a one story house and she didn't want the young boy to wake up.

"It was great. We went out for pizza and saw a movie and spent the afternoon at the park. Would you like something to drink?"

"A glass of water would be fine. And that sounds like a really lovely day," Olivia said leaning against the kitchen counter.

"It was. I enjoyed it and I know little man did too." Elliot and Olivia sat on the couch snuggled up close to each other, Olivia's arms wrapped around Elliot and her head on his chest. "Do you want to tell me about your nightmare?" he asked planting a kiss on Olivia's head.

"Um, not right now. I'd like to just sit here," she said and looked up at Elliot. He smiled and kissed her on the nose, making Olivia giggle.

"Sounds good to me," he replied. They sat there talking about their jobs and about Elliot's kids. Olivia found such solace and comfort in Elliot's strong arms. Without him she felt she couldn't function, just look at her with the nightmare she just had! When he's with her, she doesn't have them.

"I don't want to leave you," Olivia whispered in Elliot's ear and he noticed the fear in her voice. He sat Olivia up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"You don't have to," he said shaking his head.

"No, like ever. You make me feel safe," she said, her lip quavering. She shook her head and the tears spilled over. Elliot realized that whatever the nightmare was, it was serious. Olivia was shaking and Elliot wrapped her in his embrace.

"Shh, I'm right here," he whispered soothingly and kissed her softly on the head.

"He was burning me! He was torturing me. He was about to rape me. I woke up in sweat, my skin felt like it was fire, like it had actually happened," Olivia wailed and began to hyperventilate. Elliot pulled away and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Olivia, I need you to breathe," he said trying to catch Olivia's averting gaze. "Liv, look at me!" He exclaimed to get her attention as she trembled and breathed uncontrollably. Finally she looked at him. "Deep breaths, ok?" Elliot said and took a deep breath and Olivia followed. They did that about five times and then they heard little footsteps and Eli stepped in the living room.

"What's going on? Olivia?" He said wiping his tired eyes. Olivia wiped her eyes and tried to stop shaking so bad. She didn't want to scare little Eli.

"Go back to bed, buddy. Olivia needed a friend. She's going to stay with us for right now, ok?" Eli nodded and ran over to Olivia.

"I'm sorry you're upset," he said sweetly, all innocent and genuine. Olivia smiled at him and gave him a hug.

"Thank you," she said rubbing his back.

"I'm going back to bed," Eli told them and ran off. Olivia chuckled and ran a hand through her hair. She looked at the time on her phone and it was 5 o'clock.

"Let's go to bed," Elliot said and Olivia gave him a questioning look.

"I can just sleep on the couch. Eli doesn't need to find out we're together, does he?"

"So what if he does?" Elliot asked and she shrugged. Elliot took Olivia's hand and lead her to his bedroom. They crawled in bed and Elliot pulled Olivia in his arms. Her head was on his chest and the sound of his beating heart lulled her into a peaceful, nightmare-free sleep.

 ** _I'm so sorry for being so bad at updating and finishing my stories. I started this last summer, but I want to thank you all who haven't given up on me. I appreciate it very much so and I will update this again._**


	9. Family Fun Day

Olivia was sound asleep when a huge bang in the kitchen startled her awake. She reached for her gun but realized that 1- she was at Elliot's house, and 2- she didn't have her gun with her. She heard Eli whining and after using the bathroom Olivia went into the kitchen where Eli was pouting and Elliot was stirring pancake mix.

"Good morning, sunshine," he told Olivia. Her hair was disheveled and she had a big crease on her face from the bed, but still, she was so beautiful.

Olivia managed a smile as she squinted from the bright morning sun that filled the room. "'Morning. What was that big noise I heard?"

"Daddy won't let me help make pancakes because I dropped the pan!" Eli exclaimed with an angry stomp of his foot.

"Well surely he'll let you stir, won't you daddy?" Olivia asked Elliot who smirked at the term.

"Sure. I'll get the eggs started." Eli stood on a little stool at the counter and Olivia helped him stir the pancake mixture while Elliot began scrambling cheese eggs.

"Is there room for us over there at the stove?" Olivia asked Elliot.

"I guess I can make room for two more," he said with a smile. Olivia smiled back and grabbed a clean skillet and sprayed it. She helped Eli carefully pour some of the mixture into the skillet and explained how to tell when the pancakes are ready to be flipped.

"Olivia, a bubble!" he exclaimed excitedly and pointed. "Let's flip it," he said grabbing the spatula but Olivia laughed and grabbed his hand.

"Hold on there kiddo. There has to be a lot of bubbles, not just one. I'll show you." Elliot glanced at his girlfriend and son and grinned and Olivia caught his eye. They stared at each other for a moment and then Olivia turned back to the pancakes. "Ok, it's ready to be flipped. Want to help me out?"

Eli nodded eagerly and so together they flipped the pancake. They made six pancakes total and Elliot was done with the eggs and then bacon. "Liv, can I fix you a cup of coffee?" Olivia was fixing Eli's plate and nodded.

"That'd be nice," she said and handed Eli his plate. "Eli, do you want some orange juice?" She asked looking in the fridge.

"Yes please." She was looking for the cups and Elliot opened the correct cabinet for her and handed Olivia Eli's favorite Toy Story cup. She filled it with orange juice and took it over to the little boy who was waiting patiently for everyone to sit down before eating. Olivia smiled and ruffled his hair.

"You're a little gentlemen. Did you get that from your dad?" She asked winking at Elliot who had fixed Olivia's plate and coffee and sat them down on the table.

"I'm just like that," Eli shrugged and they both laughed.

"Mommy and I taught you manners, silly boy," Elliot reminded him.

"Olivia, mommy and daddy don't love each other anymore," Eli pouted and Olivia and Elliot glanced at each other awkwardly.

"Um, well, parents go through things and after trying to work them out, they sometimes realize that they don't have the same connection that they used to anymore. But it doesn't mean she doesn't love you anymore," Olivia explained and sat down at the table. Elliot joined them and they began eating.

"Daddy, is Livvie your girlfriend?" Again, another awkward glance. Elliot then smiled and chewed his pancake before speaking.

"You know what, buddie? She is. I love her very much," he said taking Olivia's hand in hers. She grinned from ear to ear and Eli smiled too.

"I knew that," he said matter-0f-factly. Elliot squinted at him.

"You did?" Eli nodded.

"It's obvious," he said with a wave of his hand, eliciting laughs from Elliot and Olivia. They continued to eat breakfast as they planned their day.

"We could go someplace fun. How about Morey's Pier?" Elliot suggested and Eli's little blue eyes lit up with anticipation.

"Yeah!" He exclaimed.

"Ok then. How does that sound, Liv?"

"It sounds great but I didn't bring any clothes other than the ones I'm wearing," she answered looking down at her sweats and tee.

"Ok, so we can go back to New York, you can pack a suitcase, and we can go to Coney Island instead." Olivia shrugged.

"That'll be fine."

They finished breakfast and after Elliot and Eli got ready for the day, the three of them hopped in Elliot's car and they drove an hour back to Olivia's place. "I'll be just a moment," she told them and went to her bathroom to get ready. She brushed her hair, teeth, put on deodorant, all while smiling at herself in the mirror, super excited for the fun planned, and super in love with Elliot. She wore converse, blue jean shorts, and an Old Navy t-shirt and had a light jacket with her. September weather in New York is perfect, but Olivia gets cold easily. While she packed a suitcase on her bed, filling it with work clothes, Elliot stepped into her bedroom and shut the door behind him. "El, what are you doing? Where's Eli?" Olivia questioned.

"He's watching cartoons. Don't worry, he's mesmerized," Elliot whispered stepping behind Olivia and kissing her neck.

"If you think we're going to have sex, we're not," she said and moaned when Elliot nibbled on her earlobe.

"We can have a quickie," Elliot tempted in a sing-song voice. Olivia turned around and grinned at Elliot and shook her head.

"You naughty boy," she drawled and kissed him hard. Before too long Elliot was inside Olivia, pressing her against the wall. She tried her to stifle her screams as Elliot slammed into her fast and hard. She started to whimper but Elliot kissed her so that it was muffled. She felt him hitting her g-spot and she gushed over his manhood that filled her. Olivia's orgasm was on the brink and she moved her hips in sync with Elliot's thrusts. "I'm going to come..." She whispered and just a few more thrusts and Olivia was coming, Elliot not far behind. He pulled out and Olivia bent low to suck him. He groaned as he exploded into her mouth and watched as she swallowed. He grinned and Olivia stood back up.

"I thought we weren't going to have sex," Elliot mocked as he pulled up his pants.

"Yeah, well, I can't resist you," Olivia said pulling on her t-shirt. They shared a quick kiss and Olivia grabbed her suitcase and makeup back and went back to the living room where Eli was looking guilty.

"Eli, what's the matter?" Elliot asked.

"You'll be mad," he said.

"No I won't. What is it?"

"I was listening to you and Livvie," Eli admitted looking down at the ground. Elliot looked at Olivia and her eyes widened. Talk about awkward.

"Um, Eli, when two adults who love each other are alone together in a bedroom, you don't listen in, okay?" Elliot said and Eli nodded. They left for Coney Island and they rode in awkward silence for a while when Olivia scrunched her nose.

"What's that smell?" she asked and Elliot was looking ahead at the road when his face contorted into a look of disgust.

"What the..." He said clamping a hand over is nose and mouth. They heard giggling in the backseat and Olivia turned to look at Eli.

"Oops," he said. Olivia and Elliot groaned and rolled down their windows to relieve themselves from the awful smell.

"Good one," Elliot said and Olivia gave him a look.

"Good one?" she repeated.

"What, we're men," Elliot said innocently and Olivia rolled her eyes in playful disgust.

Thank goodness for Eli's fart, Olivia thought to herself, thankful that they were no longer riding in awkward silence.

It was noon when they arrived at Coney Isalnd, and Eli's eyes were wide and he was smiling huge as he looked around at all the rides and games. "Daddy let's ride a roller coaster!" He exclaimed jumping up and down.

"Bud, how about we eat lunch first?" Eli thought about it for a moment and nodded.

"My tummy is growling," he said patting his stomach and Olivia laughed.

"What are you in the mood for?" she asked Eli.

"Pizza!"

"Eli we just had pizza yesterday," Elliot reminded him.

"Ok, then I want a burger." So for lunch they went to Wahlburgers where they all got burgers and fries. Olivia had a waitress take a picture of the three of them and they enjoyed the delicious food. They were surprised that Eli had eaten a whole burger and all of his fries, and when Olivia commented on it he shrugged.

"I'm just a growing boy," he said and Olivia chuckled.

"Yes you are. I knew you when you were just a baby. In fact, I delivered you," Olivia recalled and Eli's jaw dropped.

"For real?"

"For real kiddo."

"Yeah, I've told you that before, pal," Elliot said finishing his drink.

"Oh yeahhh. That was seven years ago!" Olivia raised a brow.

"Has it been that long?" Eli nodded.

"Are we a family now?" he asked. Elliot glanced at Olivia than back at his son.

"Do you want Olivia to be part of our family?" Eli nodded.

"Yeah!"

"Then we're a family," Olivia said smiling. They finished their lunch and Eli wanted to ride the rides.

"We just ate lunch. We better wait for a little while. We don't want to hurl," Elliot said. They played all sorts of games. Balloon darts, ring toss, go fishing, and Elliot won Olivia a huge stuffed teddy bear after winning the little basketball game. She smiled and pecked Elliot on the cheek.

"I love it," she said and Elliot placed his arm over her shoulder.

"I love you," he said looking down at her.

"I love you, too." They rode several roller coasters, leaving Elliot wobbly and nauseous but Olivia loved every one and even agreed to ride some a second time with Eli while Elliot waited with the teddy bear. It was adorable, a grown man sitting next to a teddy bear almost half his size.

"You're so cute!" Olivia called as Eli tugged on her hand, leading her to a roller coaster.

Elliot cupped his hands over his mouth and said, "Yeah! I feel extra masculine!" He exclaimed and Olivia cracked up and turned back around.

As her and Eli waited in line for the X-coaster, the biggest one in the park, Olivia noticed a suspicious looking man among the crowd of people. She was smiling and having a blast until that moment, and when the man turned to face her, her smile faded completely. He was staring right at her, his eyes burning into hers, and when he smiled that nasty, beastly, smile, Olivia screamed. Everyone looked at her and Eli was trying to calm her down.

"Livvie, what's wrong?" He cried. Olivia swept Eli off of his feet and ran to Elliot, shoving past people who waved fists at her, exclaiming "you can say excuse me!"

At first, Elliot smiled, but as fast as it appeared on his face, it disappeared when he saw that distraught and terrified look on Olivia's face. He stood up and touched her arm.

"Liv, what is it?" He asked and she began to sob and tremble. Heads turned as they watched the crazy lady go... well, crazy.

"It was... It was..." She choked, her sobs not letting her finish her sentence.

"What was it?"

"It was William Lewis," she cried, and with that she sank down onto the black asphalt, and everything went dark.


	10. Leaving NYC

Olivia collapsed onto the pavement after telling Elliot that she had seen William Lewis.

"Daddy! What's wrong with Livvie?" Eli exclaimed frantically.

"She passed out is all. She should wake up in a couple of minutes," Elliot said calmly and he checked to make sure that Olivia hadn't hit her head when she fell. He gently shook her. "Olivia, baby, I need you to wake up," he said. On the outside he was calm, passing out wasn't major, but what caused it was. She says she saw William Lewis but it can't be. He's in prison for life. Elliot was pulled out of his thoughts when Olivia stirred awake. "Olivia, you're okay," Elliot told her pulling her in his arms. Once she came to she started to cry.

"It was him, El! It was him!" she cried.

"Let's get to the car, come on," Elliot said helping Olivia off the ground. She kept looking all around for The Beast. She knew she had seen him, there was no doubt. The three got to the car and Elliot's cell phone rang- it was Don Cragen.

"Captain, hey," Elliot answered as he pulled onto the main road.

"Elliot, are you with Olivia? She isn't picking up her cell." Elliot looked over at Olivia who had her arms covering her head in her lap as she trembled and cried. He felt so helpless and it killed him.

"Yes, I'm with her."

"If you're at her place, get out of there now. William Lewis escaped from Rikers and we believe Olivia is his number 1 target. He knows where she lives."

"Captain, we've been at Coney Island and she says she saw him there. I didn't believe her but now..."

"We're going to send police over there. Just leave town," Cragen ordered.

"Yes sir. Please, keep us updated," Elliot said and hung up. Olivia looked up at Elliot with tear-stained cheeks.

"He escaped, didn't he?" she asked, her voice breaking. Terror gripped every bit of her.

"Who escaped? What's going on?" Eli cried as tears ran down his cheeks. Poor thing, he was so damn scared.

"Eli, I'm taking you over to mommy's house, alright?" Elliot said looking in the rearview mirror at his son.

"But it's my turn at your house!" Eli wailed. It broke Elliot's heart and he choked back his own tears.

"I know son, I know. But right now you've got to listen to me, ok? You're going to mommy's while I take care of Livvie." Eli wiped his face.

"I don't understand," Eli said, his lip quavering. Olivia looked out the window, all types of emotions filling her at once. Fright, worry, angst, dread, sadness for little Eli. She was nauseous, she wanted to hide from all of her troubles. She cried, trying to keep it quiet as to not frighten Eli anymore than he already was. Elliot sped to Kathy's house. She was surprised to see the three of them there. Elliot told Eli to go play but he wouldn't let go of his dad.

"Eli," Elliot said kneeling down to his height. "I need you to be a big boy. Be a man, be brave, okay? Can you do that for me?" Eli nodded and showed him his muscles.

"I'm strong," he said and Elliot smiled at him and hugged his son.

"Go on buddy." Elliot kissed Eli on the head and the boy ran inside the house. Kathy stepped outside.

"What the hell is going on?" she asked folding her arms.

"There's not much time to explain, but William Lewis escaped and Olivia and I have to leave town. I'm sorry, but it happened all so suddenly." Kathy's face took on a look of fear as she recalled who William Lewis was; it had been all over the news.

"Well are Eli and I safe?"

"Yes, I promise you. Please, don't give him details, but we will keep in touch," Elliot said and Kathy nodded and they said goodbye.

"Where are we going to go?" Olivia asked.

"My place. He doesn't know where I live."

"But Elliot..."

"Olivia, trust me baby, please. I'll take good care of you. They'll find him, he won't hurt you again," Elliot promised taking Olivia's hand in his. She nodded and cried silently. How could such a wonderful afternoon turn into a living nightmare?

That evening at Elliot's house, Elliot cooked spaghetti and meatballs, Olivia's favorite, but she didn't want to eat.

"I feel sick," she muttered, watching the news. It was about William Lewis and his escape. Elliot grabbed the remote and clicked the TV off.

"You don't need to be watching that," he told Olivia and she rolled her eyes.

"Why not, El? He was my abductor! My fucking enemy who burned, beat, and tortured me! And now he's escaped and what, I can't watch the news coverage?" she yelled at him. Elliot sighed and ran his hand over his head. Olivia looked down at the ground. "El, I'm sorry for yelling at you. This is just, so fucking hard, and..."

"And that's why I don't want you watching the news, baby. Cragen is going to update us. Right now, you are safe, you are with me, and that is all that matters," Elliot said softly, caressing Olivia's soft cheek. She sighed and managed a smile and kissed Elliot on the lips. "Will you please eat the dinner I made for you? It's your favorite." Olivia grinned and they sat down for dinner. The delicious food comforted Olivia. She was sitting down with her boyfriend, eating a normal dinner, doing normal things. She was safe and sound. Elliot was her protector. He wouldn't let anyone or anything harm her.

After dinner Elliot poured him and Olivia a glass of wine and started a hot bath for the two of them. After Olivia poured in the bubbles they sank down into the steaming water. Olivia thought for a moment. "Cheers, to safety and love," she said and Elliot smiled at her.

"Cheers." They clinked their glasses and took a sip. Olivia set her glass on the side of the tub, then sat in front of Elliot and he gave her a nice shoulder massage. She groaned as as all of her muscles relaxed from all of the tension that had built up during the day.

"Ugh, Elliot," she moaned leaning her head back. "That feels so good."

"Yeah?" Elliot poured hot water over Olivia's body and she leaned back into him. He kneaded Olivia's breasts in his hands and kissed her neck and shoulder, gently biting her skin here and there. "How about we go into the bedroom and relax even more?" he whispered in her ear. Despite the hot water that covered her body, Olivia shivered with goosebumps of desire. After washing each other they got out of the bath and dried off. Elliot kissed Olivia and swept her off her feet, bridal style. She laughed joyously, a little tipsy from the wine, and Elliot laid her gently on the bed. He hovered over her and kissed her lips softly at first, and then more passionately. Elliot bit and sucked on Olivia's lip and their tongues swirled together. He caressed her soft, smooth legs, and Olivia gasped when Elliot gently touched her hot, wet, core.

"Please," she whispered. Elliot smirked and kissed Olivia's neck, then trailed his tongue down her skin, the cool moisture causing goosebumps to coat her body.

"Please what?" Elliot asked innocently.

"Please..." Olivia started and gasped when Elliot rubbed her clit with his thumb and then pulled back. "Please go down on me," she finally got out. Elliot kissed her.

"It'll be my pleasrure," he smiled and kissed all the way down her body to her center. Elliot kissed Olivia's p**sy and licked her slit up and down, making her more wet. He began to suck on Olivia's clit, swirling his tongue around in circles and then pulling it deep in his mouth. Olivia whimpered as she squeezed her nipples, her head pressing back into the pillow. Elliot slipped a finger inside of Olivia and began to stroke her sensitive spot, and then another finger.

"God, Elliot," Olivia moaned as she gushed over his hand. While fingering her Elliot lapped his tongue at Olivia's clit like a thirsty dog drinking it's water. He didn't stop and his fingers went harder and faster inside of her. Olivia felt her climax build and she voiced this to Elliot. He continued his movements, increasing them to the max. Olivia cried out and her legs tensed and her toes clenched as she came, squirting, her tight muscle throbbing and pulsating. Elliot pulled his soaked fingers out of Olivia who was left breathless. She looked down at him and groaned when he sucked his fingers dry.

"Why are you so perfect," she asked. Elliot laughed and kissed Olivia and stroked her hair.

"You're the perfect one, my princess." She smiled and kissed him, then pushed him onto his back. Elliot was rock hard and Olivia got him nice and wet, then began to suck him. "There you go baby girl," Elliot breathed. God, he could come just by watching her. Olivia sucked Elliot's c*ck deep into her mouth, all the way back to her throat. Elliot groaned with his eyes closed, reveling in the feel of Olivia's wet, warm, mouth on his manhood. She swirled her tongue over Elliot's tip while stroking him. Then she steadied herself above him and settled down onto his rod. Olivia placed her hands on Elliot's chest as she rode him up and down, and then kissed him. Elliot thrusted his hips fast and slammed against her g-spot, making her cry out. Olivia laid on Elliot, her ass in the air, letting him do all the work. He gritted his teeth as he banged her as fast and hard as he could, his own climax building.

"Oh shit," Olivia cried and they came together, moaning and whimpering. "Elliot!"

"Olivia!"

They finally were still when they were finished and Olivia climbed off of Elliot and collapsed next to him on the bed. They looked at each other and grinned and Olivia fixed them a glass of water. After gulping it down, they got ready for bed. Elliot pulled Olivia into his embrace and she kissed his chest.

"Thank you, for keeping me safe," she whispered and he kissed her soft hair.

"Do not thank me, beautiful. It's my honor. I love you with all I am and I would do anything to protect you, baby."

They went to sleep and Olivia didn't have any nightmares.


	11. Monday Madness

**I had to edit this chapter guys! I had forgotten Lewis had beaten the shit out of Elliot, and so of course he was going to need medical treatment. I was so into so yeah, I forgot oops**

The next morning, Monday, Olivia and Elliot slept in until 9 o'clock. Of course, Olivia wasn't to go into work with William Lewis on the loose, but Elliot completely forgot that he had high schoolers he teaches.

"Oh shit," Elliot muttered when he noticed what time it was.

"What is it?" Olivia asked groggily, rolling over to face him.

"It's 9 and I was supposed to go to work today," he told her. Olivia's eyes widened when she realized what this meant.

"No, Elliot, you cannot leave me," she started but Elliot shut her up by kissing her on the lips.

"I'm not going anywhere, babe. I'm going to call my boss and tell her what is going on." Olivia relaxed back into the covers while Elliot called the principal. He didn't give too much away, only that his significant other was in danger and that he needed to be there for her. The principal told him to take all the time he needed. Elliot covered back up and looked at Olivia. "I would never leave you while something like this is going on. I'd be stupid to," he said and Olivia nodded and then pushed Elliot's face away.

"Ok, but you have morning breath," she complained. Elliot blew in her face and Olivia started laughing and shoved Elliot who nearly fell off the bed. "That's what you get for doing that." Elliot tackled Olivia and was on top of her and kissed her neck. "Elliot stop," she laughed then got up from the bed. "If you want morning sex then you have to freshen up like I am," Olivia said.

"Ok, I'll be there in a minute." Elliot yawned and stretched, wanting of course to have sex with Olivia, but not wanting to get out of bed. The doorbell rang and Elliot shot up. Who was it and why were the coming over at 9:15 in the morning? He threw on boxers and a tank-top. Taking precaution due to the circumstances they were under, Elliot grabbed the gun from his nightstand and crept into the living room, both hands holding the gun. He carefully peeked out the window curtains and sighed in relief when it was a neighbor from down the street. Elliot stashed the gun under a couch pillow and opened the front door. "Mark, what's going on man?" he greeted the older man.

"Elliot, is everything okay? I saw your car and thought, "it's not normal for him to miss work." Elliot glanced away then back to Mark. He didn't want to tell him the whole truth.

"We just... have a situation we're having to take care of. But thanks for checking on me," Elliot said managing a smile. The man gave Elliot a curious look and shrugged.

"Well, I hope all is good and that it's taken care of." Elliot chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Me too," he muttered under his breath, and then he said goodbye to Mark. "Olivia, I'm coming to join you in the shower," Elliot said as he locked the door. "Daddy is..." when he turned around he was interrupted with a violent punch to the nose. Crack. Before Elliot could react, he was kicked hard in the groin. He grunted and doubled over, and cried out when an object was forecfully brought down on his back, making him fall on his front. He was roughly rolled onto his back and he squinted up at the man who had done it. Elliot let out a gasp when he recognized the face. It was Will... Elliot was kicked in the legs and chest, making it difficult to breathe. He knew he had broken bones. He began wheezing and everywhere he had been hit so far stabbed him with a sharp pain. Liv," he rasped out, and the blood from his broken nose dribbled into his mouth. He tried to get up but was kicked back onto the ground and then dragged over to a kitchen chair. He was kicked onto his front and his hands were tightly bound by a rope. William sat Elliot up in the chair, binding his body with the rope. "You sick son a bitch," Elliot whispered, every breath feeling as though his chest would explode. God, it hurt.

"Shut the fuck up, Stabler," the Beast growled and roughly duct taped Elliot's mouth shut. Elliot saw the back door had been broken in to.

Olivia stepped out of the shower, wondering where Elliot was. She dried off and was confused when she didn't see him in the bedroom. "El?" She called drying her hair with the towel and then walked towards the living room. "Elliot, why didn't you join me in the show..." Olivia froze in fear. The Beast was here, in Elliot's house, looking straight at her. He smiled that sinister smile of his and Olivia let out a bloodcurdling scream. She made a dash for the front door but then William grabbed her roughly from behind. Olivia was able to elbow him in the nose and instinctively let her go and grabbed his nose. Olivia tried to reach for her purse where her gun was but William was quick to pick her up and pin her to the couch.

"You're not going anywhere, Princess," he snarled. Olivia tried fighting him but William just held her down.

"Please, Lewis, don't do this." Olivia began to cry and tried to think of what to do. She looked at Elliot who was bound to the kitchen chair, just like she had been a couple of months before, only then it was her chair in her apartment. She looked into Elliot's blue eyes and he just blinked back at her, not able to speak from the duct tape plastered over his mouth. Most of the blood from his nose was caked, but some was still seeping and running down his neck. It broke Olivia's heart.

William ripped the bathroom towel out of Olivia's hands that she had tried covering her naked body with and tossed it aside. The Beast smiled again eyeing her body, and caressed Olivia's cheek who flinched. "Looks like you dressed for the occasion," he said.

"Don't touch me!" Olivia shrieked.

"Oh, I'm going to touch you, but that'll be later. Right now I'm going to have fun with your man toy. I've got to make sure you're not going to get away, though." William bent to pick Olivia up and she spit in his face and earned a slap to her cheek in return. The Beast picked Olivia up who kicked him over and over and tried to claw at his back, but it was useless. William sat Olivia in another chair, tightly bound her with rope, and set her in the living room facing towards the kitchen where she could see Elliot.

"Someone probably saw you, Lewis... And the Police... They're going to find you."

"That's okay. You'll be dead by then," the Beast replied. He brought with him a bag that had the rope, duct tape, and baseball bat that he had hit Elliot with. He pulled out a sharp butcher knife and cut the tip of his finger with it to demonstrate how sharp it was. William smirked at Elliot's wide-eyed expression.

"How the hell did you get here?" Olivia asked, tears spilling down her cheeks.

"A car silly," he said. Olivia just stared at him and he laughed. "Oh, you mean how did I find you here? I'm smart, sweetheart. I have my ways." He whispered the last part and grabbed Olivia's face, forcing a kiss onto her lips. "Now, no more talking." William ripped off a piece of duct tape and put it over Olivia's mouth. "Now, we're going to have fun... Give me one moment." Out of the duffle bag William pulled out two wire hangers. Olivia whimpered in fear as flashbacks of the searing hot wires burning into her skin ran through her mind. She tried with all her might to unbind herself from the rope but she couldn't. William turned on the stove and Elliot watched as the flames came to life. He watched as the Beast set a wire on the stove and watched it burn, smiling in satisfaction. Elliot fiddled with his hands that were tied together by the rope and was able to grab one of them. He managed to start untying them and then William grabbed the molten wire from the stove. "Who should I do first?" He asked holding the wire up. "Livvie you've had the experience, let's fire up your man-toy." Elliot tensed his body but nothing could prepare him for the intense, excruciating pain. He grunted so loud, tears pouring down his face. Not from emotions, even though this was very upsetting (obviously), but from the agonizing pain from the burning wires. He swore he could feel the metal melt into his skin. "You're not so tough, are you? Have you always been a pansy?" Elliot didn't know if it was a coincidence or if Lewis knew that that word was used by his father to mock him, that it was a word Elliot cringed at, one that had broken his heart as a child. But Elliot didn't care about that now, not at this moment. "Olivia, Olivia, give me a minute babe while I fry up the other one." Olivia stared into Elliot's eyes, and if there was any hint of peace during this... His eyes held that peace. Those baby blues managed to soothe her just a bit. Elliot continued to work at untying his hands from the rope while the Beast put the other hanger on the stove's fire. Elliot would not let him burn Olivia... He would not let this man hurt her ever again. "Livvie..." William sang as he took the wire hanger off the stove. Olivia watched the molten metal drip onto the floor and felt her skin crawl. She wanted to throw up. The Beast sauntered over to her and Olivia wet her pants. God, she was so humiliated, she felt so dirty, so degraded and left with no dignity. William noticed and started to laugh. At that moment Elliot's hands were freed from the rope. He worked to unbind his entire body and before the Beast could torture Liv with the wire, he stood up, limping from his broken leg, and grabbed William's throat from behind. He squeezed with all his might and the hanger fell to the floor. Elliot slammed the Beast into the wall and with one hand held onto his throat and with the other hit him in the face with all his power.

"Who's the beast now?!" Elliot screamed in his face. William got a punch in but Elliot forced him into the chair and wrapped the rope around his next, cutting off his airway. William gasped and his eyes bulged as Elliot squeezed tighter. He was going to kill this man, or at least have him sent to the hole where he knew was a tortuous place... He had stayed there for three days and almost went crazy... "I'm going to tie you up, and if you fight, you will end up with this knife lodged in your heart," Elliot growled. He let go of the Beast's throat and he grabbed it as he caught his breath. Elliot began to tie William to the chair and when he was satisfied, he freed Olivia. She ran into the bedroom and called 911, explaining who she was and the situation. "Should I kill you, Lewis?" he asked pacing back and forth.

"You're too much of a pansy to..." The Beast muttered. That did it. Elliot grabbed the knife and drove it into William's chest and down. "GAAHHHHHH!" The Beast screamed as blood seeped from the gash that ran from his chest to his belly button.

"You better be thankful that I didn't shove it right into your heart, you fucking son-of-a-bitch!" Elliot roared in his face. God it felt good to hear William scream like that.

"Well you might as well have, I'm going to bleed out!" William screamed back.

"Well then let's hope the police arrive on time." They did. Fin and Rollins appeared and called a bus after seeing William cut open.

"What the hell happened?" Fin asked, looking around at the house. The flames on the stovetop, metal hangers on the floor, the baseball bat... Everything. Meanwhile, Amanda grabbed some clothes for Olivia who was cleaning herself up. She was weeping, still embarrassed that she had wet her pants. Only children wet their pants... Amanda helped Olivia put on her clothes and she sat on the bed and cried.

"It's going to be alright. Lewis will never hurt you again, I will personally are sure of it."

"If Lewis dies, then... Then Elliot will go to trial and..."

"Hey Liv, look at me," Amanda said and Olivia looked into her eyes.

"Right here, right now, you are safe and William is still a live. Take one second, one minute, one hour and day at a time." Olivia nodded and held onto Amanda. She was embarrassed and felt like a child. She didn't like Amanda to see her like this but she needed to be held. Elliot was telling Fin about everything while he jotted down notes and the medics took Lewis out on a gurney.

"IAB's going to have to talk to me, aren't they?" Elliot asked and winced as the medics tended to his burns.

"I'm afraid so, but it'll be fine. They'll understand," Fin replied. "You're going to the hospital man," Fin said after eying Elliot up and down. Elliot sighed and after his burns were bandaged he limped into the bedroom where Olivia was. Amanda smiled at him and Elliot was the one to hug Liv now.

A few minutes later Cragen arrived and told Olivia that she was to take off of work for as long as she needed Olivia wanted to argue but she knew she needed it, and she knew it'd probably be longer than one week. God, that had really happened... it felt so surreal, though. Olivia felt responsible somehow, even though it was silly. She just hated how El had an experience with the Beast now...

"Put him in the hole," Elliot growled to the Captain.

"You bet I am," Cragen said. William Lewis was taken to he hospital in an ambulance and Cragen took Olivia and Elliot to a different hospital. They were both shaken up pretty badly, and not without a good reason.


	12. Hospital and Precinct

Elliot had to go to the hospital before the precinct and he had second-degree burns from the wire hanger William Lewis had branded into his skin. An x-ray showed that he had several broken vertebrae from where William had hit him with the baseball bat, a broken nose, two broken ribs, and a fractured leg. Olivia was okay, thankfully. But she didn't feel grateful... she hated that the Beast had done this to Elliot and she almost wished it had been her instead.

His injuries would take up to 8 to 10 weeks to heal.

"El, I'm so sorry," she said, her lip quivering as the doctor put a brace on Elliot. He had a bandage on his nose and a cast on his leg.

"You didn't do anything," he said waving it off.

"Well if it wasn't for me he wouldn't have hurt you..."

"Liv how does that make sense? You didn't choose for Lewis to kidnap you, it's not like you told him "Hey, Lewis, come torture Elliot for me why don't you?""

"Ok well if you hadn't come back you wouldn't have been hurt." Elliot's eyes widened in response and Olivia realized what she'd just said. "El, I didn't mean it like that," she told him.

"If I wouldn't have come back I wouldn't have been able to save you! And if I hadn't come back we... we wouldn't be here, together. We wouldn't have given in to our love..."

"Elliot I know that. I just hate how you're hurt and I wish I could have done something to prevent it. I'm so sorry, El," Olivia cried and Elliot pulled her into a stiff hug. The doctor finished up with him after giving him pain medication and Cragen came in.

"It's time to go to the precinct to give a statement," he told the two detectives. Elliot got up on his crutches and Olivia grabbed the medicine for him. She'd be taking care of Elliot for a good while.

They arrived at the precinct and went into an interview room with Amanda and Fin. "How's Lewis?" Olivia asked.

"Well, the knife wound wasn't as deep as it was long so he didn't suffer any punctured organs or anything, but he does have a busted lip, broken nose, a concussion and bruising around his neck," Amanda explained and Elliot and Olivia looked at each other.

"I wish I would have killed him," Elliot muttered rubbing his face.

"Walk us through everything that happened," Fin said and so Elliot and Olivia took turns speaking. From how they were at Coney Island when Olivia saw Lewis up to everything that happened at Elliot's house. Olivia felt like she was going to be sick, especially as Elliot recalled how the Beast had burned him. She still felt responsible... He had to explain when he was the one to "attack" William, how he was about to hurt Olivia and that he wouldn't let that happen.

"If that ass-wipe does press charges, the jury will understand that. I mean, I came to the love of my life's rescue, they would do the same if put in the same situation," Elliot said, trying to convince himself.

"Ok well what about when it comes up that you stabbed Lewis when he called you a pansy?" Amanda asked.

"What do you mean? Are you saying they won't excuse that, that it was my anger?" Elliot said.

"I mean..." Olivia scoffed.

"Amanda, you're way out of line to say that. Right now, El isn't on trial and you sure as hell don't know what you're talking about seeing as you're just a cop, not a fucking lawyer," Olivia snapped at the blonde, defending Elliot. Amanda raised her eyebrows, and then she too scoffed.

"I'm just trying to be realistic," she said holding up her hands.

"Well the reality of the situation is, I'm not arrested and I'm not being interrogated and so I'm taking Olivia and we're leaving," Elliot said and winced when he struggled to get out of his seat. Olivia helped him up and handed him his crutches.

"We'll be in touch," she said annoyed and the two left the room.

"How are you two?" Nick asked standing up from his desk.

"We're leaving," Elliot muttered. Nick looked at Olivia and she just shook her head, hinting that she didn't want Nick to say another thing. Cragen stepped into the squad room.

"Captain, we're on our way home, if that's alright."

"It is. Just hope that when William Lewis is feeling better he won't be pressing charges."

"I didn't fucking kill him!" Elliot shouted and Olivia put her arm around him to help him out of the room.

"Come on," she said before he could get any angrier. Instead of going back to Elliot's place in Jersey, Olivia waved down a taxi and they went back to her place. Olivia helped Elliot settle down onto the couch and fixed him a glass of water. She sat down beside him and thought about what had happened with the Beast. She hadn't been able to really process it. It had all happened so suddenly... the whole attack, going to the hospital, going to the precinct. Now that they were home it dawned on her how horrific it had been. The same terror she had felt just a few months ago when she had been Elliot in that chair being tortured... oh God she was so sorry for Elliot. He hadn't been tortured for nearly as long as she had, hell not even a full hour but still... she had seen the fear in Elliot's eyes. Olivia's lip trembled and finally she began to cry.

"I'm so sorry," she wailed, wrapping her arms around her legs. Elliot managed to pull her into his arms and she wept on his chest. "I'm so sorry you had to experience that. And you've only been back two weeks tomorrow and..."

"Hey, look at me," Elliot said, and tilted Olivia's chin so that brown eyes met blue. "I'm Elliot Stabler, I'm strong. I'm a bad ass, you know that. I can survive anything," Elliot said soothingly, stroking Olivia's soft cheek with his thumb. Olivia managed a smile and Elliot kissed her sweet lips. "I love you, and nothing could ever come between us, not even the Beast," he whispered. Olivia nodded and sighed, then yawned.

"I need a nap," she said.

"I could use one too. I'm exhausted." They changed into comfier clothes, Olivia cautious not to hurt Elliot more than he already was as she helped him into a tshirt that was too big for her. They were going to have to change his bandages later that night. For now they crawled in bed and Olivia fell asleep surprisingly fast, despite the events of that day that had caused them great angst and stress. Elliot on the other hand lay on his back, restless. He was in pain, and he couldn't get the Beast out of his head. Why hadn't he killed the SOB? El shook his head; he knew why. He didn't want to do that to Olivia. Had he murdered Lewis he would have been sentenced to prison, and he knew Olivia needed him and quite frankly... Elliot needed, and very badly, wanted Olivia. He turned his head to watch her as her body steadily rose up and down with every breath she took. Elliot could hear her breathing, and the sound seemed to ease his pain because he went to sleep.


	13. Hurting

For dinner that night Elliot and Olivia ordered pizza and tried to relax as best they could. It seemed unreal that just today William Lewis had attacked the two of them... It had been such a long day.

"Babe we really need to go get your things. You know, some clothes, our cars..." Olivia said and Elliot nodded and sighed.

"I know, Liv. We will in the morning. And who says I can't sleep in the buff?" Olivia laughed and bit her lip, then kissed Elliot. Gosh, he made her feel so safe, so protected and loved.

"Ok, well I'm going to wash your clothes and we'll have a shower alright?" After throwing in Elliot's clothes, she helped him in the shower. Elliot made sure not to get his bandaged arm wet and Olivia helped wash him. He felt so stupid, so needy. He was the one who was supposed to take care of Olivia, not the other way around.

"Just let me do it," he muttered and turned to grab the soap but grunted in pain.

"El, that's why I'm going to do it for you, honey. You're hurt."

"Well you shouldn't have to! I'm a grown-ass man!" He shouted at her. Olivia looked down and Elliot regretted raising his voice.

"Liv I'm sorry, it's just... Embarrassing," he said with a sigh. She nodded and began washing his chest.

"I know. But sometimes you have to let others take care of you, grown-ass man or not. And it's me, I've seen you vulnerable before. I've seen you cry, in pain... Although this time we're a couple, and so that should be comforting." Elliot sighed.

"But I'm supposed to take care of you." Olivia stopped what she was doing and looked at Elliot.

"You are taking care of me. El, without you my PTSD is triggered. I have nightmares, I'm terrified. Just you being here is taking care of me in and of itself," Olivia said softly. Elliot smiled down at her and stroked her cheek with his thumb, then kissed her under the streaming water. After kissing him for a minute, Olivia pulled back and cupped Elliot's cheek in her hand. "We're taking care of each other," she whispered, her voice breaking. She loved this man, she didn't deserve him. They finished showering and Olivia put fresh bandages on Elliot's wounds, then helped clothe him. She fixed him a glass of water and he took his pain medication. They crawled in bed for the night and both had trouble sleeping, their minds reeling with images of what had happened with the Beast. But each other's presence was comforting and finally they drifted off to sleep.

The next morning Elliot woke up groaning in pain. His burn wounds were itching, his back stabbing him with pain, and his leg throbbed. He reached out with a stiff arm for his medicine and knocked over the cup of water that was on the bedside table. "Goddamit," he muttered and Olivia stirred awake.

"Hm?" She muttered as she rolled onto her other side.

"It's nothing, Liv," Elliot replied, not wanting to bother her with his needy self. He tried going back to sleep but the pain kept him awake. "Fuck this," he mumbled and managed to sit up in bed. Olivia slowly opened her eyes, and then remembered the day before.

"What do you need baby?" she asked, stretching and slowly sitting up herself. God, she was exhausted.

"I knocked over my water. I need my medicine."

"Ok, I can help you hon," Olivia said and kissed Elliot on the cheek. "That's what I'm here for." He smiled at her and she helped him out. "When are we going back to your place to get your things and the cars?" Liv asked while she made the bed. She used to never make her bed, but after her situation with Lewis she did daily. She learned that any type of chore that kept her busy helped keep her focused and not as depressed.

"We can go soon."

"Ok, I'll fix you something to eat."

"Liv, I can make breakfast," he said and Olivia rolled her eyes.

"For crying out loud, El look at you! You wince with every move you make, you have a broken leg, ribs, back... Let me take care of you, ok? So go in the living room, settle down onto the couch, and I'll make you breakfast," Olivia said strictly and Elliot grinned.

"Yes, officer," he said and Olivia rolled her eyes.

"I'm serious, El."

"I know you are. I just- gosh this is so hard," Elliot mumbled running a hand through his hair. Olivia gave him a kiss on the lips.

"I know, but there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Like I said, we're taking care of each other." Elliot nodded, knowing she was right. He sat on the couch, propping his legs up and watched the news where it showed William Lewis and he quickly turned the channel so that Olivia wouldn't see but she had.

"He's in prison for life, he's in the hole. He can't escape so... Whatever, it's over," Olivia said with a sigh and wave of her hand. Elliot managed a smile and turned on Family Guy instead. He needed a good laugh. Olivia made the two of them coffee, toast, bacon and eggs and ate in the living room, then got ready to leave. A cab took them to Elliot's place in Jersey and Olivia helped pack a suitcase. Then they stopped at Kathy's house and caught her up on the latest events. After it was all over, meaning, after Elliot wasn't pressed with charges, they would spend time with Eli again. It was just too stressful right now.

Olivia and Elliot drove back to her place in separate cars, and spent the day doing nothing in particular. Olivia cleaned her apartment to distract herself, while Elliot watched a couple of movies. Later, she made an appointment with Dr. Lindstrom for the following Thursday. She needed the professional help in navigating this, and she knew Elliot did, too, but when had he ever agreed to go to therapy?


	14. Surprising News

On Thursday Elliot denied needing therapy, that he's tough, that Lewis could have done much worse to him. He did go in with Olivia, though, in support of her. They talked about what happened, and Olivia cried, expressing feelings of guilt for what the Beast did to Elliot.

"Why do you feel guilty?" Dr. Lindstrom asked.

"I don't know because... He didn't deserve it..."

"And you did?" the therapist asked with a knitted brow.

"No. Of course not, I just...if it weren't for me Elliot would have been spared. Hell, I don't know how Lewis knew I was with Elliot, but he did and if..."

"Olivia you're speaking as if you regret us being together," Elliot said.

"I'm not! Dammit, I don't know... I just feel guilty. I'm so _fucking_ sorry that he did this to you, and you say you don't need help, which maybe you don't, but I do and..."

"No one is saying you don't!" Elliot said, his voice rising in volume. Olivia sank into the couch cushion, feeling as though she couldn't express herself in a way that made sense.

"I just want this all to be over," she whispered, cradling her head in her hands. Elliot placed his hand on her back.

"Olivia, it isn't your fault, what happened to Elliot. You didn't give Lewis Elliot's address, you didn't give him an order to attack him, you are not in the wrong. It's okay to feel sympathy, but don't beat yourself up over things that you did not do." Olivia nodded and then her phone rang. She checked it and it was the Captain.

"I'm sorry, but this is work..." she said and stepped outside. "Captain, what's up?"

"It's William Lewis. He was found dead in his cell." Olivia nearly dropped her cell phone in shock, mixed feelings flooded over her all of a sudden.

"Um, I- I don't know what to say. I guess, that's a good thing? No, that sounds wrong..."

"He hung himself with the bedsheet."

"Oh?" was all Olivia could say.

"I think you and Elliot should come to the precinct."

"We're in a therapy session right now, but we can be there afterwards."

"Alright, see you then."

"Yeah, see you." Olivia was about to hang up but Cragen stopped her.

"And Liv?"

"Yeah, Cap?"

"It's not wrong to say that it's a good thing. I know it's not an ideal way to get justice, or to end something as horrible as this, but maybe now that the Beast is gone you can finally put this behind you, find peace, you know?" Olivia smiled at Don's words. He's always been there for her.

"Thank you." They hung up and Olivia went back to her therapist's office.

"That was Cragen," she said just standing there in the doorway.

"And? What did he have to say?" Elliot asked sitting up straighter, wincing in pain as he did so.

"It's Lewis. He, he killed himself in his cell. I- I'm feeling... I don't know... Relieved, I guess," Olivia said. She sat down next to Elliot. "But... I feel guilty for feeling that way."

"Olivia," Dr. Lindstrom said, "There is nothing to feel guilty about. That evil, horrible man, he can't hurt you anymore. He is gone, you're not." Olivia shrugged, her therapist's words failing to make her feel better. On the other hand, Elliot wouldn't be charged with what he did to Lewis, so that was a positive. Maybe her captain was right, maybe now she really could begin to heal and finally find peace. Despite her reeling mind and the mixed feelings she was having- guilt, shock, relief- Olivia finally felt herself able to breathe without difficulty for the first time in a while.


End file.
